Coop Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?"
"No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"
"You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."
The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished he kicks a chicken. Next, he walks to the barn and takes out the old milking cow. After milking her thoroughly, he kicks her. Then the boy gets the food and feeds the pigs. Once he is done he kicks a pig.
Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple. Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and my sausage?"
"Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so now you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so now you don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so now you don't get any more...
When a newly bought rooster died after only three weeks on the job, the farmer was determined that the replacement would last a while longer, and so, before putting the rooster into the hen coop, he dosed it heavily with vitamins and pep pills. The instant the bird was released, it charged into the coop and serviced every one of the hens therein. Then, before the farmer could stop it, it flew into the adjoining coop and proceeded to do the same for the geese. At this point, the farmer gave up and went back to the house, shaking his head and muttering, "He'll never last out the day." Sure enough, around sunset the farmer was crossing the yard, and there lay the rooster, legs aloft, flat on its back, with two hungry buzzards slowly circling above his supine body. "Damn it!" groaned the farmer. "Now I've got to buy me another new rooster!" At which point the rooster opened one eye, winked and, pointing at the nearing buzzards, said, "Shh!"
Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Yo Mama is like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day!
A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK, old fart, time to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens. Look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over."
The old rooster says "I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs, "You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He's already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining more...