Cool Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Russian, American, and Pollock are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. Each of them agrees to take one item as they have to continue through the desert on foot.
The Russian and Pollock ask the American what he is going to take.
He said, "the water in case I get thirsty."
They said that's cool.
The American and Pollock ask the Russian what he is going to take.
He said, "the food in case I get hungry."
They said that's cool.
The American and the Russian ask the Pollock what he is going to take.
He said, "the car door in case I get hot all I have to do is roll down the window."

& father passing by his son`s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I`m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I`ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it`s not only the passion, Dad. She`s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana cocaine doesn` t really hurt anyone. more...

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a cow and began a conversation.
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
The Indian looked shocked.
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.
Dog: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
The Indian looks even more shocked.
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
The Indian looks extremely shocked.
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? " pointing at Indian
Horse: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How's he treat more...

Monsters, Inc. was a cute animated movie that is pretty funny, but definitely for kids. You should go see it if you have kids, are a kid, or like to pretend you're a kid late at night by wearing diapers. It's made by the Pixar people, who did Toy Story and A Bug's Life, and that pretty much tells you what to expect. Same technology, but a couple years later, so it's a little better, a little more lifelike. Movie gets a nice, solid 3 6/7 Babylons. You'll have a good time, but try not to see it in a theater filled with too many kids- they can be annoying. Especially when the one right behind you spends the last fifteen minutes kicking your chair telling its Mommy that it needs to go to the bathroom.

OK, now let's talk about the Star Wars trailer.

By now, you have seen it, or heard it, or had it described to you by a cyber-dork named C3PO4EVR on a host of fan sites. You know it's really short. You know there is no dialogue. You know that the only sound you get is more...

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the
road.

They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk.
Out of respect and propriety the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast.
The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived he
conducted his inspection. First he lifted up the Cubs cap
replaced it and wrote down some notes. Next he lifted the
Sox cap replaced it and wrote down some more notes.

The officer then lifted the Yankees cap replaced it then lifted it again replaced it lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time.

The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked What
are you a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and
looking more...

Once president BUSH went to a school. After have a brief talk with
the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask him.

One boy raised his hand and stood up.

Bush: whats your name

John: john

Bush: whats your question

Johm: sir I have three questions


1) why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO

2) where is osama

3) why do America support Pakistan so much



Bush: you are an intelligent student john..(just then the bell for
recess rang).

oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.


After the recess

Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any
question?

Peter raises his hand

Bush: Whats your name?

Peter: sir I have 5 questions.

1) why did America attack iraq without the approval of UNO

2) where is more...

Question and the Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry they are IAS
(Indian Administrative Services - THE most difficult examination in
India . Candidates are graduate Officers now.

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)

Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS)

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at more...