Contempt Jokes

> > > A small town prosecuting attorney called his first > > > witness to the stand in > > > a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He > > > approached her and asked, "Ms. > > > Jones, do you know me? > > > "She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. > > > Williams. I've known you since > > > you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big > > > disappointment to me. > > > You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate > > > people and talk about > > > them behind their backs. You think you're a rising > > > big shot when you > > > haven't the brains to realize you never will amount > > > to anything more than a > > > two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
> > > > > > The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, > > > he pointed across the > > > room and asked, "Ms. Williams, do you know the > > > defense attorney?"
She > > > again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. > > > Bradley since he was a > > > youngster, more...

Contempt

A young man had to take a day off work to appear for a traffic ticket. He waited hours to be heard, becoming increasingly agitated as the day went on.

Finally, the man was called before the judge, only to have the judge tell him court would be adjourned for the day, and that he would have to return the next day.

"What for?" he sneered at the judge.

The judge, in no mood for the man's attitude, yelled back, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!" Then, noticing that the man was checking his wallet, the judge relented, "It's okay. You don't have to pay now."

The young man responded, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words.

What should be the official name for Bill & Hillary Clinton's New York Estate", asked Jayne Carroll, who hosts a radio talk show in the Portland, Oregon metropolitan area.

On Friday, September 10th, Carroll asked her audience to suggest an official name for the Clinton $1.7 million house in New York. Carroll's call-in contest required the names to be in relative good taste, original, and should capture the essence of the occupants.

The response was overwhelming! Here's some of the more witty:

Perjurers' Palace
Hillbilly Villa
The House of Bill's Repute
Drawers Downs
Cheatem Estates
Castle of Contempt
Sin Simeon
The House That Terrybought
The Knee Pad
The White Trash House
The Blight House
The Panderosa.
Liars' Lair
Bill & Hill's Bribe & Breakfast
The Clinton Compost
Dogpatch on the Hudson
Rancho Immoral
Deceitful Domicile
Monica's Man's Manor
The Hen more...