Coca-cola Jokes / Recent Jokes

From the rehu-l list where it had been posted from the Whim list.
From "American Demographics" magazine:
Here's a look at how shrewd American business people translate their slogans into foreign languages:
When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."
Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."
Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."
When Vicks first introduced its cough drops on the German market, they were chagrined to learn that the German pronunciation of "v" is f - which makes "Vicks" in German the phonetic equivalent of "sexual penetration."
Not to be outdone, Puffs tissues tried more...

1. Coca-cola was originally green. 2. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury. 3. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever. 4. Dumbest dog: Afghan5. Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters. 6. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. 7. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 28. Amount American Airlines saved in' 87 by taking out 1 olive from each salad served in first class: $40, 0009. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong10. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska11. Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 412. Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April: 1/1213. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%14. Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%15. Estimated % of American adults who go on diet each year: 44%16. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-3317. Average number of days a West German goes more...

To clean a toilet bowl:
Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl. Let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then brush and flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China.
To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers:
Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
To clean corrosion from car battery terminals:
Pour a can of carbonated Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
To loosen a rusted bolt:
Applying a cloth soaked in a carbonated soda to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
To bake a moist ham:
Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
To remove grease from clothes:
Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy work clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular more...

1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident. 2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days. 3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coke into the toilet bowl. Let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. 4. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china. 5. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola. 6. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion. 7. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes. 8. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan; wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a more...

w" bar, drinking
Water or Coke "W a t e r
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half the world population.)
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop more...

W a t e r

1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half the world population.)

2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.

3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.

5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to more...

Atlanta Coca-Cola is fixing an embarrassing typo in the word "disk"
in copyright information on about 2 million 12-packs of the drink.
In the misprint, the "s" is replaced by a "c." Normally, the small type
under the copyright information states that the "red disk icon and contour
bottle are trademarks of the Coca-Cola Co."