Clothing Jokes / Recent Jokes

I went to college with a fellow named Donald Weinhower. He inherited his Dad's
ladies clothing store (Sol's Fashion Boutique) and did fairly well with it for
a number of years.

After a while he noticed that whenever he got in larger-sized items that were
stylish, certain men would come in and eagerly buy the items. He also
eventually realized that these fellows were buying the fashions for themselves!
Even when he raised the prices to quite high margins, all the goods of that type
would just about fly out of the store.

Well, Don finally decided that he could make a lot more money by just catering
to these special clients. He remodeled the store, brought in all new stock, and
changed the name of the shop.

Yes, you guessed it - he named the shop Don Weinhower Gay Apparell!

Basic Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run 1. CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available, shag is good. 2. DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it.After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things, This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season. 3. GUESTS: Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that human's lap. If you can, arrange to have "Friskies Fish n' Glop" on your breath. For sitting on laps or rubbing against clothing, select fabric color which contrasts well with your fur. For example: white furred cats go to black wool clothing. For the guest who claims, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain; apply more...

1. Because baby eats. Eating is a messy job for a baby. If you wrap a baby in a towel sized bib...baby will find the tiny gap of space left around the neck and dump food in.
2. Because baby sleeps. Sleeping is an unplanned job for baby. If you don't have a clean dry diaper on baby when baby decides to doze...or even if you do...baby will figure out a way to sleep and still whiz on everything.
3. Because baby drools. Baby may look clean to the unexpecting admirer... but beware of picking up the little water fountain unless your clothing has flood insurance.
4. Because baby moves. If your house is spotless...baby will find spot.
5. Because baby has Grandma. Grandma thinks the little suit with ears and a tail is SOOOOOO CUTE!!! Not to mention the Santa suit, pumpkin suit, turkey suit, bunny suit, or cowboy suit.
6. Because baby grows. Size 1 today...size 3 on Wednesday...
7. Because baby things disappear. Even washing machines enjoy a light lunch once in a more...

1. Because baby eats. Eating is a messy job for a baby. If you wrap a baby in a towel sized bib...baby will find the tiny gap of space left around the neck and dump food in.2. Because baby sleeps. Sleeping is an unplanned job for baby. If you don't have a clean dry diaper on baby when baby decides to doze...or even if you do...baby will figure out a way to sleep and still whiz on everything.3. Because baby drools. Baby may look clean to the unexpecting admirer... but beware of picking up the little water fountain unless your clothing has flood insurance.4. Because baby moves. If your house is spotless...baby will find spot.5. Because baby has Grandma. Grandma thinks the little suit with ears and a tail is SOOOOOO CUTE!!! Not to mention the Santa suit, pumpkin suit, turkey suit, bunny suit, or cowboy suit.6. Because baby grows. Size 1 today...size 3 on Wednesday...7. Because baby things disappear. Even washing machines enjoy a light lunch once in a while.8. Because baby has relatives. more...

Check the girls clothing tag then say --> "Thats what I thought...made in heaven"

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church." On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship." At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel." On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs." In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work." In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan." In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!" On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament-Ears pierced"

A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potentialemployee's application and notices that the man has neverworked in retail before. He says to the man, "For a man with no experience, you arecertainly asking for a high wage.""Well Sir," the applicant replies, "the work is so much harderwhen you don't know what you'redoing!"