Clitoris Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ok, I know that you can really buy a detachable vagina from an adult store, but here is the problem and my story.

First of all, its very strange to go into a store and ask somebody behind the counter, "Excuse me, where do you keep the vaginas?" Only to have them respond, "Isle 12," like it's nothing, like they do this all the time. Ooops, they do.

Anyway, I am on isle 12 and there are tons of vaginas, just like they said. There are vaginas that vibrate, and I am thinking to myself, "A vibrating vagina? That could be interesting." They even have vaginas with pubic hair. Pubic hair? I'm not gonna be looking at it for its anatomical correctness. And wait, there was even a clitoris! Who is that for? I mean I don't ever remember telling a woman, "Ohhh baby, I want you to rub your clitoris all over my body." I mean, isn't that for the woman? I don't think I am going to try to go down on my detachable vagina, that would be more...

Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common? A: Men usually miss all three.

Doesn't whine about affirmative action taking away "your" promotions
Knows what the clitoris is
Even if she does sit around in a dirty tshirt watching television, she at least knows how to wash it herself.
Knows where the clitoris is.
Doesn't think sexual harassment has been "blown way out of proportion"
She may not know how to fix a car, but, let's face it buddy, neither do you
Doesn't respond to "I want to talk about our relationship" with "Oh, Jesus Christ, here we go again"
Willing to stop and ask for directions before seeing bleached bones lying alongside the road
Two words: "sharing clothes"
Someday you're going to look like Bob Dole

Take notes, all you Casanovas...
1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hands on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp more...

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.

Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.

Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.

You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.

Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and soothe them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.

Why do men more...