Clients Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service! What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you die ! What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog! What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming human.Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets, what should you do? Shoot the lawyer, twice !! What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a sleazy politician? Chelsea Clinton.It was so cold around here last winter, (how cold was it?) I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets ! What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick ! What more...

Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service! What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you die! What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog! What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3, 000, 000 has a chance of becoming human. Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets, what should you do? Shoot the lawyer, twice! ! What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a sleazy politician? Chelsea Clinton. It was so cold around here last winter, (how cold was it?) I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets! What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick! more...

Drug dealers Software developer Refer to their clients Refer to their clients as “users”. as “users”. “The first one’s free! ” “Download a free trial version…” Have important South-East Have important South-East Asian connections Asian connections (to help move the stuff). (to help debug the code). Strange jargon: Strange jargon: “Stick, ” “Rock, ” “SCSI, ” “RTFM, ” “Dime bag, ” “E”. “Java, ” “ISDN”. Realize that there’s Realize that there’s tons of cash in the tons of cash in the 14 to 25 year-old 14 to 25 year-old market. market. Job is assisted by the Job is assisted by industry’s producing industry’s producing newer, more potent mixes. newer, faster machines. Often seen in the company Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers. of marketing people and venture capitalists.

Q:Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

A:To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service!

What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you die!

What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog!

What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.

What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3, 000, 000 has a chance of becoming human.

Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets, what should you do? Shoot the lawyer, twice! !

What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a sleazy politician? Chelsea Clinton.

It was so cold around here last winter, (how cold was it?) I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own more...

When there are too many policemen, there can be no liberty;

When there are too many soldiers, there can be no peace;

When there are too many lawyers, there can be no justice.

-- Lin Yutang

Litigation is a machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage.

-- Ambrose Bierce "A country man between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

-- Benjamin Franklin

Lawyers have been known to wrest from reluctant juries triumphant verdicts of acquittal for their clients, even when those clients, as often happens, were clearly and unmistakably innocent.

-- Oscar Wilde

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

-- Lenny Bruce

I was never ruined but twice -- once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I gained one.

-- Voltaire

Drug dealers Software developers
Refer to their clients as "users". Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!" "Download a free trial version..."
Have important South-East Asian Have important South-East Asian
connections(to help move the connections (to help debug the
stuff). code).
Strange jargon:"Stick," "Rock," Strange jargon: "SCSI," "RTFM,"
"Dime bag," "E." "Java," "ISDN."
Realize that there's tons of cash Realize that there's tons of cash
in the 14- to 25-year-old market. in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by the industry's Job is assisted by the industry's
producing newer, more potent producing newer, faster machines.
mixes.
Often seen in the company of of Often seen in the company of
pimps and hustlers. marketing people and venture
capitalists.
Their product causes more...