Chocolate Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why did they invent white chocolate?

A: So little black kids could get messy too! =)

Chocolate Chip Cookies: Ingredients: 1. 532. 35 cm3 gluten2. 4. 9 cm3 NaHCO33. 4. 9 cm3 refined halite4. 236. 6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride5. 177. 45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O116. 177. 45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O117. 4. 9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein9. 473. 2 cm3 theobroma cacao10. 236. 6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the more...

Chevrolet Nova didn't do well in Spanish speaking countries. .. Nova means' No Go'. ..

Bacardi concocted a fruity drink with the name' Pavian' to suggest French chic. .. but' Pavian' means' baboon' in German.

A peanut-packed chocolate bar targeted at Japanese teenagers needing energy while cramming for exams ran headlong into a belief that eating peanuts and chocolate causes nosebleeds.

Parker Pens translated the slogan for its ink,' Avoid Embarrassment - Use Quink' into Spanish as' Evite Embarazos - Use Quink'. .. which also means' Avoid Pregnancy - Use Quink.'

When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the USA - the cute baby on the label. Later, when investigating lower than expected sales figures, they found out that it is common practice in Africa to put pictures of the contents on food i package labels.

Coors slogan,' Turn it Loose,' translated into Spanish as' Suffer From more...

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Children of Distinction: The promising 7 yr. old was given the difficult assignment in class of describing the taste of chocolate ice cream in a single sentence.

"Chocolate," she explained, "tastes the opposite of vanilla."

If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Movie-related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
Cookie pieces contain no calories -- the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
Foods that have more...

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "Yes".

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. So I looked closer. It was made of grass.

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

I had amnesia once or twice.

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

I got a chain letter by FAX. It's very simple. You just FAX a dollar bill to everybody on the list.