Chess Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once, two sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games
Of chess to pass the time.
They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends
Dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -
"come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!"
Q: How many people at a chess tournament does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Nine. One to complain about the lighting levels, one to say he thinks the lighting is OK, one to suggest someone calls the arbiter, one to go and call the arbiter, one to reminisce about lighting levels at the 1947 tournament at Hastings, one to complain about the disturbance the others are causing, both arbiters, and one to say he thought the lighting was better before they changed the lightbulb.
Q: How many people at a chess tournament does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Here is the current state of research... You need one to complain about the lighting. A second will say he thinks the light is fine. A third suggests the tournament director be called, and number four fetches him. An aged player (5) reminisces about the lighting levels at Nottingham 1936. The director (6) can't be found, but his deputy (7) arrives. Player eight says that if they increase the lighting levels it more...
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the hotel manager came out of his office and asked them to disperse. "But why?, they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.
Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.
Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claus!
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.
Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A: Okay everyone, sack time!!
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recenttournament victories. After about an hour, the managercame out of the office and asked them to disperse." But why?", they asked, as they moved off." Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boastingin an open foyer."
Father O'leary and Rabbi Goldberg played chess each Wednesday in the park. The chess game usually included religious discussion and debate. This week the discussion turned to religious sins.
Rabbi Goldberg said, "In my religion it is forbidden to eat ham but I tried it once, just once, before I became a Rabbi."
Not to be outdone, Father O'leary admitted, "During seminary this beautiful young girl tempted me and I yielded to the lust of the flesh and had sex."
Across the chess board, the old Rabbi grinned, and with a chuckle said, "Better than ham, ain't it?"