Cheese Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man swallowed a mouse while sleeping on the couch one day. His wife quickly called the doctor and said, "Doctor, please come quickly. My husband just swallowed a mouse and he's gagging and thrashing about." "I'll be right over," the doctor said. "In the meantime, keep waving a piece of cheese over his mouth to try to attract the mouse up and out of there." When the doctor arrived, he saw the wife waving a piece of smoked herring over her husband's mouth." Uhh, I told you to use cheese, not herring, to lure the mouse." "I know, doc," she replied, "but first I've got to get the darn cat out of him!"
My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth-that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally-but I didn't want to upset him. It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. Home is where the house is. Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the more...
Italian police are scrambling for a way to deal with the highjackings of cheese shipments.
They do have some leads.
what will you most likly find in wisconson?
A. a cow
B. a donkey
C. a footstool
D. a can of rotten cheese
D. a can of rotten cheese because wisconson and cheese smells like you and your mom in bed.
You realize that your favorite dessert is wooder ice. (It comes in churry, strawburry and other assawrded flaverz.)
You find yourself using "Yo" and "Youse guys" when talking long distance to family members.
You know how to spell Schuylkill.
You think $2,500 a year for insurance on a 1977 Toyota Corolla is a bargain.
You find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking, "I wonder if they have cheese steaks?"
You visit New York and are impressed by how clean it is.
You believe the car on your left, flashing its turn signal and the driver pointing at your lane, wants you to close the gap with the car in front of you.
You can't eat french fries without Cheeze Whiz.
Street people greet you by your first name.
You don't think Wawa sounds funny.
You snub a cheese steak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.
Your parents, brother, sisters, aunts, and more...
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?