Cheese Jokes / Recent Jokes
A guy is walking down the road pondering how he is going to provide for his family. He stumbles upon a giant wheel of cheese (enough to last his family for months). He picks it up and rushes home.
Excitedly he shows his wife, who asks' Do you even know what kind of cheese it is?'' Yes I do' he replied.
'It's NACHO cheese, and I know that because after I picked it up a guy started chasing me saying' That's NACHO cheese, that's NACHO cheese'!
There was a little piece of Jewish cheese
and when he gave a big Jewish sneeze
he fell over and couldnt get back up
Then one day he saw a piece of Jewish clay
and deseided to make himself Jewish legs
when he was done he went to John
and said Im not finished
Uh huh... extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me
Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame
No one came
Just us eatin' all alone
You said, Take the pizza home
No sense lettin' all this go to waste
So then I faced
Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese 'round the clock
Is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care
For irregularity
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
'Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom... I sit and I wait and I strain
And I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should I take laxatives or have my colon irrigated?
No no no
I was feelin' pretty down
'Till my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way
I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But more...
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Where are the germs that cause ‘good' breath?
Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?
Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?
Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn't the company just hire taller dancers?
Why do people tell you when they are speechless?
Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use more...
A Border Patrol agent is on duty. He spots two Mexicans and runs them down. They show him their papers (he thinks they are phony).
He tells them, "O.K. I have a test for you. I want you to use the words 'cheese' and 'liver' in a sentence."
So, the first guy says, "I made a liver and cheese sandwich for lunch."
The agent says, "That was good, you can go. What about you?" he asks the second guy.
He says, "Liver alone. Cheese mine."
DUMB Questions - Part 3
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Where are the germs that cause good breath?
Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?
Why are all blackboards called more...