Cheese Jokes / Recent Jokes
Chico once went to the doctor due to stomach trouble. The doctor prescribed plenty of milk and gave Chico a bottle of pills. "I`ll stop by this evening and see how you`re doing," the doctor said. "In the meantime, drink at least four glasses of milk. Milk is the ticket for curing your trouble. So drink plenty of it." That evening, the doctor returned, examined Chico and told him, "You`re much better this evening. Just be sure you don`t drink any milk. Not one glass. It`s not for you." "But, doctor," Chico exclaimed, "only this morning you told me that milk was what I needed and that I should drink four glasses of it." "Well, what do you know?" the doctor replied. "It certainly goes to show that we`ve made tremendous progress in medicine since the last time I saw you."
"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man`s broken leg. "Well, doc, 25 years more...
a blonde walks into a libary, and ask the front desk for a cheese burger, Soda, and fries. the librain says" this is a libary"
"ohh sorry, i will have a cheese burger, Coke, and fries", wispered the blonde
There was a fly above the water. Under the water was a trout. It was thinking "if that fly would drop, I could eat it."
On the riverbank was a bear. Behind the bear was a fisherman. He was thinking "If the fly dropped, the bear would get the trout, and I could get the bear instead of fishing with cheese."
Behind the fisherman was a mouse and behind that was a pussy cat.
Well fly dropped, trout got fly, bear got trout, fisherman got bear. Mouse got the cheese. Pussy jumped for mouse, missed and fell in water.
Moral of story- If fly drops, pussy gets wet.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. --Age 8 Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. --Age 10 Home is where the house is. --Age 6 I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. --Age 13 I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he sucks. --Age 15 For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found more...
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them "The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says "I love liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said "How well can you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and more...
My brother Sean stopped by a sandwich shop one afternoon and placed his order with the girl at the counter. She rattled off a list of condiments, but he stopped her when she asked if he wanted white cheese or yellow.
"What's the difference?" Sean asked.
"Hello?" replied the girl, sighing and rolling her eyes. "The COLOR is different!"