Charley Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    These great questions and answers are from the "Hollywood Squares" game show. Responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now.
    Q. Do female frogs croak?
    A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their heads under water long enough.
    Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
    A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
    Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems like it sometimes.
    Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
    A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
    Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
    A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
    Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
    A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
    Q. In Hawaiian, does more...

    Old Lem, a hillbilly in the eastern Kentucky mountains, rides up to old Charley's front gate. The gate's about a quarter mile from Charleys house. Seeing Charley on the front porch, Lem yells, "HEY, CHARLEY....LET'S GO FOX HUNTIN'!!" Charley yells back, "OK, I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE!!" In a few minutes, Charley rides his mule down to the gate... dressed from head to foot in his Sunday go to meetin' best. "What in hell did ye get all dressed up fer to go fox huntin fer?", asked Lem. "FOX HUNTIN'?", asked Charley, "I THOUGHT YOU SAID 'LETS GO FUCK SUMPTHIN!!"

    Two guys are susposed to meet at 4: 30. Charley shows up at 4: 30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5: 00, Paul shows up and Charley says, “Where have you been? You're a 1/2 hour late. ” Paul replies, “Sorry, I had to go to the dentist. My dick's been hurting bad. ” Charley says, “If your dick's been hurting, why did you go to the dentist? ” Paul answers, “Because I had a tooth stuck in it. ”

    1. According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why?
    - Paul Lynde: He's out of town

    2. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie,' What's The Matter With Helen?' Who plays Helen?
    - Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that's why they asked the question

    3. What are' dual-purpose cattle' good for that other cattle aren't?
    - Paul Lynde: They give milk. .. and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies

    4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
    - Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    5. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
    - Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him

    6. Robert Young recently stated,' I never, never give. ..' something to his fans who ask for it. What?
    - Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy

    7. James more...

    Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldnt figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type Happy Birthday

  • Recent Activity