Centre Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were each given the following problem to solve.A school dance floor included a straight line down the middle dividing the floor in two equal halves. Boys were lined up against one wall and girls against the opposite wall, each facing the centre line. They were instructed to advance in stages towards the centre line every ten seconds, where the distance from the person to the centre line at each stage is equal to one-half the distance at the past stage.i.e.: If the starting distance from the wall to centre line was D, the progressive series of distances at t = 0, 10 seconds, 20 seconds...10n seconds to the centre line is (D, D/2, D/4, D/8,. ....D/2n)The question is, when will they meet at the middle?The mathematician said that they would never meet. The physicist said they would meet when time equals infinity. The engineer said that in one minute they would be close enough for all practical purposes.

Two aliens were visiting Earth to research the local customs.
They split up so that they could learn more in the time allowed.
When they met to share their knowledge, the first alien told of a religious ceremony it had seen.
"I went to a large green field shaped like a meteorite crater. Around the edges, several thousand worshippers gathered. Then two priests walk to the centre of the field to a rectangular area and hammer six spears into the ground, three at each end. Then eleven more priests walk out, clad in white robes. Then two high priests wielding clubs walk to the centre and one of the other priests starts throwing a red orb at the ones with the clubs."
"Gee," replied the other alien, "what happens next?"
"Then it begins to rain."

One day Steve and his wife, Sorrell were out playing golf. Everything was going fairly well for Steve until the 7th hole. He sliced his tee shot a mile to the right so he and his wife had to go looking for the ball. Eventually they came across a shed with the door slightly ajar, and surprisingly enough the golf ball was slap bang in the centre of the floor. And so, not wanting to drop a shot, Steve decided to play on instead of taking a penalty by dropping the ball. Sorrell, noticing that if Steve played a good shot he could get his ball on the green, offered to hold the door open while her husband played the shot. After a lengthy period of sizing up his shot, Steve hit the ball, but struck his wife in the temple with it. She slumped down dead, instantly. Another 5 years later, Steve found himself on the same golf course, on the same hole, this time with his friend, Jim. So, coincidently, Steve's tee shot took the exact same path as it did 5 years ago, and the ball found itself, more...