Census Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock Who's there! Census! Census who? Census presents for Christmas!

That Jim Mica feller what posted that there thing 'bout the bugs on the TV sets in Atlanta was mighty sarcastic 'bout the South. I 'spect he don't know much at all 'bout this part of the country. Sure, we are different and special. That's why we done got a special Census form so that we can make the Federal Gov'ment unnerstand jus' how they need to count us. Everyone down here knows that a damyankee don't know nuthin. I'm attachin' the first part of our Census form so you kin see just how clever we really are when it comes to countin' people. I'll post the second part tomorry.
The 2000 Federal Census for Rednecks
Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not more...

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're eighteen. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're sixteen. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're fourteen."

"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins every time?"

The woman answered, "Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin'."

In fact, one census taker reported that he couldn't count the number of people in Octomom's household. The census taker said he ran out of fingers.

The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form:
Last name: _______________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_)Billy-Bob
(_)Billy-Joe
(_)Billy-Ray
(_)Billy-Sue
(_)Billy-Mae
(_)Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_)Booger
(_)Bubba
(_)Junior
(_)Sissy
(_)Other____________
Age:____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex:____ M ____ F ____Not sure
Shoe size:____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:(Check appropriate box)
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Unemployed
(_)Dirty Politician
(_)Preacher
Spouse's Name:_____________
2nd Spouse's Name:_______________
3rd Spouse's Name:_______________
Lover's Name:_______________
Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box)
(_)Sister
(_)Brother
(_)Aunt
(_)Uncle
(_)Cousin
(_)Mother
(_)Father
(_)Son
(_)Daughter
(_)Pet
Number of children living in the home:_____
Number of the children living in more...