Cell Phone Jokes / Recent Jokes
A simple acronym entered into people’s cellphone listings, ICE, (in case of emergency) can help emergency room doctors who are trying to track down a patient’s family. Unanticipated side effect:
"Thanks to all my fans who are reaching out to me. My phone is finally ringing again. Word to your mother."
According to a recent study, driving while using a cell phone is more dangerous than driving with a.08 percent blood alcohol level, considered legally impaired in most states. However, the study does not take into account the fact that someone who is legally impaired is also likely to be on their cell phone-booty calling a fat chick.
A study of 575 high school students who used their cell-phones more than 90 times a day found that they scored higher on tests measuring depression and anxiety. But the results were not even a fraction as high as the results of the parents who were tested and had to pay the bills for their kids 90-call-a-day habit. A new study is being undertaken involving parental violence against teenagers who drive them into debt with meaningless calls instead of studying.
I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane. It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over my cell phone!
I heard cell phones kill sperm cells. Is this a bad thing?
I keep my cell phone right in my pocket...no more kids for me.
This guy that Russell Crowe threw a telephone at got an out-of-court settlement for $100,000. Are you kidding? I would LOVE for Russell Crowe to throw a telephone at me! It's probably a form of foreplay for him. It would be nice though if it were a cell phone, then I could program my number into it before throwing it back to him.
A MAN has been charged with kidnapping and raping a 14-year-old American girl who was found in an underground bunker after alerting her mother by text message. Also found hiding in the bunker was a large Australian stingray.