Telephone Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment, and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
    The husband said, "Who was that?"
    The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear'."

    Here are a couple of my favorite examples of gullible people (true stories).
    Back in the days of the Mattel Cabbage Patch Kid craze it was usually
    very hard to get one for the kiddies. A radio station (I don't know where)
    announced that Mattel was going to get Cabbage Patch Kids out to the people
    of this particular city. The plan was that they had to go to the football
    field of the local university and wait. An airplane would fly overhead and
    the dolls would be dropped onto the field. People were supposed to hold
    their credit cards up so that a photographer with a telephoto lens in the
    airplane could get the credit card numbers and charge the price of the
    dolls to the recipients' accounts.
    People actually showed up, waving American Express cards in the breeze.
    Another radio station prank took place on April Fool's Day. They
    announced that the phone company would be cleaning the dirt out of the
    phone lines that afternoon. They do more...

    The telephone lineman had been out drinking the night before, and the next day he went to work not feeling too good. He climbed to the top of the first pole and as he took his pliers out to repair the wire he dropped them. He had to climb all the way down to retrieve them.

    As he got to the bottom of the pole and was picking up his pliers, Little Johnny, who was standing there said, "My daddy is a lineman too and he would have had two pair of pliers, so he wouldn't have to climb down the pole if he dropped one of them."

    The lineman tried to ignore Little Johnny and climbed back up the pole very slowly. About his time he needed a hammer to drive in a large nail. As he was taking it out, it slipped and fell to the ground. Again he had to climb down the pole to retrieve it.

    So he slowly climbed down the pole and sure enough Little Johnny was still standing there. He said, "My daddy is a lineman too and he would have carried two hammers so if more...

    In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, Atal Behari Vajpayee and Pervez Musharraf decided to visit each other's country regularly.

    The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There Musharraf showed him Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Vajpayee made a call to the Devil in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes! The bill for the call came to only Re. 1.

    When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication systems to be at the best when Musharraf visited India. Suitable arrangements were made.

    Mushrraf came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500!

    Musharraf asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in India? "

    A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from India, it is long more...

    A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient. "Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell who is speaking or where the voices are coming from?" asked the psychiatrist. "As a matter of fact, I do," said the patient. "And when does this happen?" asked the psychiatrist. "Oh," said the patient, "when I answer the telephone."

  • Recent Activity