Celebrate Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three people walk up the St. Peter, hoping to enter heaven, but he
has a little test for them first. He asks the first man why we
celebrate Easter, and the man says, "Oh, that's the day when we get
really dressed up in fun costumes and go trick or treating right?"
St. Peter is disgusted and he sends the man to hell.
The second man comes to the gate and St. Peter asks him the same
question, and this man says, "Oh, this is when we eat turkey and
celebrate all of the things that we are thankful for right?"
Peter couldn't beleive it, he sent the second man to hell and
called the third man up. He again asked the man why Easter is so
important, and why we celebrate it, and this man says, "Oh, that is
easy. Jesus came to the earth and he was crucified, and buried in a
cave..."
St. Peter sighed because his faith in man was restored, but then he
heard the man say... "and then Jesus rose up more...
An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness.
The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said,' 'I've some bad news for you... you have the cancer and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month.''
Murphy, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had been waiting.
Murphy said,' 'Son, we Irish celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a very short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints.''
After three or four pints the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of Murphy's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating.
Murphy told them that more...
How do zombies celebrate Halloween? They paint the town dead!
Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup championship so wildly? A: It was the first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.
The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script. All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The Angels come running in only to find the Pope huddled in his chair, crying to himself and muttering, "An 'R'! The scribes left out the 'R'." A particularly concerned Angel takes him aside, offering comfort, asks him what the problem is and what does he mean. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R'. They left out the 'R'. The word was supposed to be celebRate!"
To celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary, a couple returned to their honeymoon hotel. After retiring to bed, the wife said, "Darling, do you remember how you stroked my hair?" and so he stroked her hair. She reminded him of the way they had cuddled, and so they did. Then, with a sigh, she whispered, "Won`t you nibble my ear again?"
With that, the husband got out of bed and left the room. "Where are you going?" cried the wife.
"To get my teeth," he said.
An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter. And Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur. Muslims have their holidays, too.""Every religion has holidays to celebrate. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized national holiday. It's an unfair discrimination"His friend replied..."Well, why don't you celebrate April 1st?"