Causing Jokes / Recent Jokes

TUBA: This is a sonic weapon that when set off can produce sub sonic tones causing a general feeling of uneasiness and queasiness to those within its effective range. In addition, one may attach a sousaphone to a marching column of soldiers. As all tubists drag, the ever-slowing performance of um-pahs will eventually reduce the marching soldiers to a snail's pace causing them to be late for a battle or not arrive at all. The most effective countermeasure is to feed the tubist with great quantities of beer (imports if you have them). It won't improve his playing but makes him more enjoyable to be around.

You may or may not have heard of the Darwin Awards. It's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
The following story suggests this year's leading contender:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his more...

Of all tales of the supernatural, this one is perhaps the best documented, the most disturbing and
the most difficult to explain. The Princess of Amen-Ra lived some 1, 500 years before Christ. When she
died, she was laid in an ornate wooden coffin and buried deep in a vault at Luxor, on the banks of
the Nile.
In the late 1890's, 4 rich young Englishmen visiting the excavations at Luxor were invited to buy and
exquisitely fashioned mummy case containing the remains of Princess Amen-Ra. They drew lots.
The man who paid several thousand pounds had the coffin taken to his hotel. A few hours later, he was
seen walking out towards the desert. He never returned.
The next day, one of the remaining 3 men was shot by an Egyptian servant accidentally. His arm was so
severely wounded it had to be amputated.
The 3rd man in the foursome found on his return home that the bank holding his entire savings had
failed. The 4th guy suffered a severe more...

The seven dwarfs were in a Catholic church. They were sitting near
the rear and as the priest was speaking, they whispered and giggled
amongst themselves, causing quite a disturbance. All of a sudden,
Dopey stands up and says, "Priest, are there any midget nuns in the
church ?" "No," said the priest, "There are no midget nuns in the
church." A little time passed and the dwarfs were again whispering and
giggling amongst themselves causing quite a disturbance and noticeably
angering the priest.
Soon, Dopey stands up again and asks, "Priest, are there any midget
nuns in the city?"
"No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the city or in the church."
says
the priest. Again the dwarfs resume their annoying giggling to the
dismay of the priest.
Once again, Dopey stands up and asks "Priest, are there any midget
nuns in the state?"
"No, my son, there are no midget more...