"Weapons Of Mass Destruction Tuba" joke

TUBA: This is a sonic weapon that when set off can produce sub sonic tones causing a general feeling of uneasiness and queasiness to those within its effective range. In addition, one may attach a sousaphone to a marching column of soldiers. As all tubists drag, the ever-slowing performance of um-pahs will eventually reduce the marching soldiers to a snail's pace causing them to be late for a battle or not arrive at all. The most effective countermeasure is to feed the tubist with great quantities of beer (imports if you have them). It won't improve his playing but makes him more enjoyable to be around.

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