Cars Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde and a brunette were involved in a terrible car accident and both cars were completely totaled.
They climbed from the wreckage and the brunette stood in awe. "Our cars are demolished, yet we walk unharmed. This must be a sign from God that we are to be best friends for the rest of our lives," she said.
"I agree with you completely. No doubt we'll be lifelong friends," the blonde replied.
The brunette stepped closer to examine the damage and noticed something shiny within her car. Reaching in, she pulled out an unbroken bottle. "This bottle of wine wasn't even cracked. I think this is another sign that we are to drink a toast to our new friendship."
"That's a great idea, miss," the blonde answered, taking the bottle from her. She popped the cork and drank her share.
"I'm sorry. How rude of me. Would you like some?" the blonde asked.
"No, thanks," said the brunette. "I'll just wait until the more...
If you have no cars that are moblie, and 14 cars that aren't, then you might be a redneck.
A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway. The brunette keeps saying, "88, 88, 88..."The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past."What are you doing?""I'm counting cars,"comes the rely. "Want to help?""Sure!" says the blond. She walks out to the middle of thehighway to the brunette and starts saying "88, 88, 88.."All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semidrives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walksdown the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, "89, 89, 89..."Sent by Kellie
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
You have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that isn't!
There was an American on a buisness trip in England. He got on a train, and was unable to find a seat. The man walked up and down the different cars until he discovered that an old lady's tiny dog was taking up a whole seat. So he said to the lady, "Hey, you think you could move your dog? I can't find a seat." Now this wasn't a nice lady, so she replied, "You rude American! My little poodles needs somewhere to be!"So the man walked up and down the cars again, looking for somewhere to sit. He came back to the lady and the dog. "Look lady, I need somewhere to sit. Can you please put your dog on your lap?" Of course, the woman's reply was about the same as the first one, "You again?! Go away you rude man, don't bother my poodles!"So for the last time the man searched for a seat as the train started. He came back to the woman angrily, "Move your mutt lady!" The woman went into a fit of frustration, scolding the man like a child. Finally more...
Q: Why can't MICROSOFT built any cars?
A: Cause when an accident happens the airbag always asks: "Are you sure?"