Cabin Jokes / Recent Jokes

Southwest Airlines makes humor a high priority. Here are some actual humorous statements by airline flight crews: "Good morning. As we leave Dallas, it`s warm, the sun is shining, and the birds are singing. We are going to Charlotte, where it`s dark, windy and raining. Why in the world y`all wanna go there I can`t imagine." "As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position." "Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments." "We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to a seat outside on the wing of the airplane." "Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the p lane immediately." "There may be 50 ways to leave your more...

Two hunters traveled to Canada to hunt moose. They searched around and found a bush pilot with a good
reputation. They hired him and had him fly them to a cabin located by a small remote lake in the
Northwest Territories. The pilot carefully landed the plane on the lake, and let the two hunters off
at the pier. Over the roar of his engine, the pilot told them, "Now this lake is mighty short, and I
won't have much room to take off, so I can only take out one moose. OK, fellas?"
The hunters readily agreed. The pilot said he would return in one week, turned his plane around, and
flew off.
One week later, the pilot returned. He carefully landed his plane on the lake, pull up to the pier,
and looked out in dismay. There sat the two hunters on the pier, all smiles, with two dead moose. The
pilot shut off his engine, climbed out, and told the hunters, "Listen fellas. I told you, only one
moose."
Both hunters more...

There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear. Only he shows up without a gun.
The other hunters are very curious. "How you gonna get a bear without a gun?" they ask.
"Do you have a knife?"
"No," says the guy.
"Do you have a club?"
"No," says the guy.
"Don't you worry. I'm gonna get myself a bear. Just wait right here and see."
The guy leaves the cabin and disappears into the hills for several hours.
Eventually he happens upon a bear asleep in his den and he kicks the bear and gets it really angry. As the bear wakes up, he starts to chase after the guy, so the guy starts running back towards the cabin.
Finally the hunters hear him running down the hill and yelling, "Open the cabin door! Open the door!"
They open the door and the guy runs into the cabin and holds the door open behind him. To the terror of the other hunters, an more...

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and had not been seen for five days.
An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.
The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love."
The old man replied, "I thought so... would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking my ducks!"

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.

He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"

A 400 pound man, drops from the school, gets himself an airplane ticket and boards the plane. He
seats himself in the first class cabin on a cross-country flight, and settles himself in for the
trip, snoring soundly as curious passengers seated around watch him.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the man, wakes him up and says,' Sir, I'm sorry, but I
see that your ticket is for coach, and you're seated in first class I'm afraid you'll have to move."
The man replies, "I'm 400 pounds, and I'm a wrestler, and I'm going to New York to play professional
wrestling".
Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant
approaches the blonde and says, politely, "I'm sorry, Sir, but since your ticket is for coach you'll
have to move back." The man replies angrily, "I'm 400 pounds, and I'm a wrestler, and I'm going to
New York to play professional wrestling" and more...

These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise ship.
1. (For this one, you have to know that it's really easy to get lost in the maze of corridors and elevators on a ship.) A lady asked if this elevator went to the front of the ship.
2. Two elderly women were staring at the numbers of the floors listed above the elevator door. When asked if they needed any assistance with something, one asked how they were going to be able to reach way up there to push the button for their floor.
3. A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the groom started swearing at the desk clerk. "We booked a cabin with a view for our honeymoon, and all we get to see out the window is a parking lot!"
4. There was some mix-up with a woman's room. The clerk (or whatever they are called on ships) was trying to remedy the situation. He asked, more...