Cabin Jokes / Recent Jokes
On a flight on takeoff from Las Vegas: "Everyone look out the right windows and wave goodbye to your money one last time."
"There's a man up front today celebrating his 95th birthday. So, as you're leaving, please stop and say' Happy Birthday' to the captain."
"Welcome aboard today's flight to Phoenix. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught more...
A sales manager and an operation manager went bear hunting. While the operation manager stayed in the cabin, the sales manager went out looking for a bear.
He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward the sales manager, who started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear jumped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The sales manager jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"
T'was the night before Christmas, in Texas, you know.
Way out on the prairie, without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreamin' of Christmas, like me and you.
Not stockings, but boots, at the foot of their bed,
For this was Texas, what more need be said,
When all of a sudden, from out of the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright.
And I saw' cross the prairie, like a shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard, come on at a run,
The driver was "Geein" and "Hawin", with a will,
The horses (not reindeer) he drove with such skill.
"Come on there Buck, Poncho, & Prince, to the right,
There'll be plenty of travelin' for you all tonight."
The driver in Levi's and a shirt that was red,
Had a ten-gallon Stetson on top of his head.
As he stepped from the buckboard, he was really a sight,
With his beard and moustache, so curly and white.
As more...
What is the integral of "one over cabin" with respect to "cabin"?
Answer: Natural log cabin + c = houseboat.
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out
furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to
enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
4. There may be 50 ways to leave more...
"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children."
A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and had not been seen for five days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds. The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK." Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love." The old man replied, "I thought so. .. would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking the shit out of my ducks!"