Bucks Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy walks in to a bar. He has a few and gets loaded. Another guy says "Hey buddy, want ten bucks?" And of course, the reply is yes. He says "Either you screw a nun, or pull out a rottwieler's loose tooth. Your choice. Then I'll give you your ten bucks.." You gotta remember, this guy's drunk. He says he'll pick the rottweiler. So he goes in to a room and there's a bunch of banging around in the room and finally the guy walks out bleeding. He then says "Wow! That sure was tough. Will you pay me twenty buck if I go see the nun with the loose tooth?"

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner.

She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, "How much?"

"A hundred dollars."

"Damn. All I've got is thirty."

"Hold on," she says and runs back to Harry. "What can he get for thirty dollars?"

"A handjob," Harry replies.

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE male unit. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."

She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, "Harry, can you loan this guy seventy more...

A sailor arrives at port after having been at sea for six long months. Being extremely horny, the first thing he does upon setting foot on terra firm is to head straight to the nearest brothel. He goes right up to the madam and says,' How much?' The madam replies that her girls charge two hundred dollars and that she has only one immediately available. The sailor feels that this seems a bit pricey, but in his desperate condition he has no choice. He agrees to the terms and is shown upstairs to a room to await the arrival of the woman. When the hooker gets to the room, she opens the door only to find the sailor furiously jerking off.' Wait a minute!' cries the hooker.' What are you doing?' The sailor looks up at her and answers,' Hey, for two hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to let you have the easy one, do you?'

81. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes? A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.82. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.83. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.84. Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex? A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate? 85. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm? A: *Who cares?*86. Q: Why do blonds have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex ! 87. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm??? A1: She drops her nail-file!!! A2: Who cares? A3: She say 'Next' A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes A6: The batteries have run out.88. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A1: They can't remember the number. A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.89. Q: What does a blonde say when more...

A guy stops to talk to a beautiful woman standing alone by a bus stop. "Hello, I must say, you are about the most beautiful women I have ever met."
"Thank you very much, replied the women."
The guy quickly follows up, "I was wondering if you'd sleep with me for a million dollars?"
"A million dollars!" the girl responds. She thinks for a moment and answers, "Yes, I would sleep with you for a million dollars."
"How about five bucks," responds the guy. "Five Bucks!, What kind of woman do you think I am?"
"We've already determined that," he replies. "Now we are just haggling over the price".

A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house. The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp. The husband asks: "Did we break that too?" "Yes", replies the man." Sorry. Do you live here?" the husband asks." No, actually, I'm a genie." The man states. "I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I'm supposed to give you three wishes, but I'm keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what'll they be?" The husband thinks a moment: "First, make my wife a better golfer." "Poof! She's a better golfer", the genie announces." Second, I want a million bucks a week for life." "Poof! you get a million bucks a week", the genie more...

I met a guy in Las Vegas who really looked down in the dumps, and I asked him if he'd been cleaned out at the casinos.
He said, "It's worse than that. I blew almost all my dough, and then I was propositioned by this really great looking hooker as I was walking along the Strip.
I told her I was nearly broke, and she said, 'For sure you've still got a hundred bucks for a quick one,' but I said, 'Nope - don't have near that much.'
'Well, how about fifty bucks for a blow job?'
And I said, 'Nope - don't have fifty bucks left.'
'Well then,' she says, 'I can let you have a hand job for $25.'
And I said, 'Really, I'd love to, but I don't even have that much left.'
So she says, 'How about a wax job for five bucks?' And I tell her I've never heard of a wax job, but she says, 'Whadda ya got to lose?' and we go behind a parked car in Bally's parking lot.
So, I give her the five dollars and she kicks me in the nuts so hard the wax blows out of my ears.'"