Brothel Jokes / Recent Jokes

At a prominent Parisian brothel, the madam opened the ornate gilded door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were dishevelled and he looked needy.

"Can I help you?" the madam asked.

"I'm here for Natalie," the old man replied.

"Sir, Natalie's one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..."

"No, I must see Natalie."

Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man she charged $1000 per visit.

The man never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon the man calmly left.

The next night he appeared again demanding Natalie. Natalie explained no-one had ever come back two nights in a row and there were no discounts. It was still $1000.

Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later.

When he showed up the more...

Ben, a middle-aged Canadian tourist, visits the red light district of Oklahoma City and enters a large brothel. It's only his second time in Oklahoma. The Madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the prospective client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap. He then whispers something in her ear and she gasps and runs away!
Seeing this, the Madam sends a more experienced lady over to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap. He again whispers in her ear and she screams "No!" and walks quickly away!
The Madam decides that only the most experienced lady, Lola, would do!
Lola looks a little tired, but there's nothing she hasn't done already and absolutely nothing would surprise her. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams "No!" more...

A couple, while at the height of their ecstasy, fell out of the 3rd story window at the local brothel.
A drunk was walking by and saw the whole thing happen. He rang the doorbell to the brothel, where the madam came to the door and asked him very rudely, "What the hell do you want?"
He said, "Maahdamm, I jusht wanted ta tell ya that your shign jusht fell down!"

RECENT LETTER FOUND IN A PERSONAL PROBLEMS ADVICE COLUMN

From Gavin of Wellington, New Zealand.

I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Englishman. My father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the Wellington remand centre on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a Brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD.

We intend to more...

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.

They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye,' tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other irishman said, "Aye,' tis a shame to see that the jews are fallin' victim to temptation."

Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity. . . one of the girls must be quite ill."

Geordie is on a weekend stag do with his mates, Jock, Taff and Paddy.
Thay visit a Brothel, the Madam explains that they have a simple pricing system, they charge by the lenght of the penis..£10 per inch.
Meeting up later, Jock brags..... "Och, Best £90 a ever spent"....
Paddy says, Cost me £100....... Taff, not wanting to tell them that he paid only £60 decided to lie " You's all got off lightly I had to pay £125!!!
Geordie pipes up..." Really? It only cost me £15 !
I PAID ON THE WAY OUT "

A dedicated shop steward was at a convention in Las Vegas and decided
to check out the local brothels.
When he got to the first one, he asked the madame, "Is this
a union house?"
"No, I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped
off down the street in search of a more equitable shop.
His search continued as long as you want to draw things out,
until finally he reached a brothel where the madame said, "Why yes,
this is a union house."
"And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the man said. He looked around the
room and pointed to a stunningly attractive redhead. "I'd like her
for the night."
"I'm sure you would, more...