Bowel Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60 year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing happens."
"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens."
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."
Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"
"I don't wake up till 7:00."

Three old men were sitting around talking. The 80 year old said “The best thing that could happen to me would just be able to have a good pee. I stand there for twenty minutes and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again. The 85 year old said “the best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movment. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on but it’s still a problem. The 90 year old said “Thats not my problem. every morning at 6: 00am sharp I have a good long pee. At 6: 30am sharp I have a great bowel movement the best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7: 00am

IBM: It's Being MendedIBM: Inmense Ball of MuckIBM: I Believe in MemorexIBM: It's Better than Macintosh! IBM: Idiots Built MeIBM: Intense Bowel MovementIBM: Inferior But Marketable? IBM: I've Been MisleadIBM: It's Better ManuallyIBM: Infinitly Better MacintoshIBM: Indefinitly Boggled MachineIBM: I Bought a MacIBM: I Blame Microsoft. IBM: I Bought MacintoshIBM: I'll Buy MacintoshIBM: I've Been MovedIBM: I've Been MuggedIBM: Incontinent Bowel MovementIBM: Identical Blue MenIBM: Idiotic Bit MasherIBM: Idiots Become ManagersIBM: Incompatible Business MachinesIBM: Incredibly Boring MachineIBM: Infernal Bloody MonopolyIBM: Institute of Black MagicIBM: Internal Beaurocratic MessIBM: International Brotherhood of MagiciansIBM: Intolerant of Beards and MustachesIBM: It'll Be MessyIBM: It's Backwards, ManIBM: Itty Bitty MachinesIBM: Itty Bitty MoronsIBM: It Barely MovesIBM: I Buy MainframesIBM compatible - IBM contemptible

IBM: It's Being Mended
IBM: Inmense Ball of Muck
IBM: I Believe in Memorex
IBM: It's Better than Macintosh!
IBM: Idiots Built Me
IBM: Intense Bowel Movement
IBM: Inferior But Marketable?
IBM: I've Been Mislead
IBM: It's Better Manually
IBM: Infinitly Better Macintosh
IBM: Indefinitly Boggled Machine
IBM: I Bought a Mac
IBM: I Blame Microsoft.
IBM: I Bought Macintosh
IBM: I'll Buy Macintosh
IBM: I've Been Moved
IBM: I've Been Mugged
IBM: Incontinent Bowel Movement
IBM: Identical Blue Men
IBM: Idiotic Bit Masher
IBM: Idiots Become Managers
IBM: Incompatible Business Machines
IBM: Incredibly Boring Machine
IBM: Infernal Bloody Monopoly
IBM: Institute of Black Magic
IBM: Internal Beaurocratic Mess
IBM: International Brotherhood of Magicians
IBM: Intolerant of Beards and Mustaches
IBM: It'll Be Messy
IBM: It's Backwards, Man
IBM: Itty Bitty more...

IBM: It`s Being Mended
IBM: Inmense Ball of Muck
IBM: I Believe in Memorex
IBM: It`s Better than Macintosh!
IBM: Idiots Built Me
IBM: Intense Bowel Movement
IBM: Inferior But Marketable?
IBM: I`ve Been Mislead
IBM: It`s Better Manually
IBM: Infinitly Better Macintosh
IBM: Indefinitly Boggled Machine
IBM: I Bought a Mac
IBM: I Blame Microsoft.
IBM: I Bought Macintosh
IBM: I`ll Buy Macintosh
IBM: I`ve Been Moved
IBM: I`ve Been Mugged
IBM: Incontinent Bowel Movement
IBM: Identical Blue Men
IBM: Idiotic Bit Masher
IBM: Idiots Become Managers
IBM: Incompatible Business Machines
IBM: Incredibly Boring Machine
IBM: Infernal Bloody Monopoly
IBM: Institute of Black Magic
IBM: Internal Beaurocratic Mess
IBM: International Brotherhood of Magicians
IBM: Intolerant of Beards and Mustaches
IBM: It`ll Be Messy
IBM: It`s Backwards, Man
IBM: Itty Bitty more...