Botanist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A logger is driving down the highway and sees two botanists trying to measure the height of a small pine tree. Their tape measure is not long enough so one botanist stands on the shoulders of the other and attempts to extend the tape to the tree top but it is not long enough. While trying, he falls to the ground. They attempt this about five times and each time the top botanist falls. The logger is laughing but feels sorry for the pair, gets out of his truck, takes out an electric saw and cuts down the tree. The botanists are looking at him like he is crazy. He then takes a tape measure and measures the tree. "OK guys, the tree is 14' 6." He then gets in his truck and drives away. The two botanists are stunned and speechless. Finally one says to the other, "How do you like that, we are trying to measure the height of the tree and that stupid jerk measures the width."

1. How do leaf clusters start a duel?
They stand Bract to Bract.
2. What is the favorite beverage of a botanist?
Bud-wiser.
3. Which hooded flower married Marc Anthoney?
Calyptera patra.
4. After typing too much what did the botanist develop?
Carpel- tunnel syndrome.
5. What do you call an arch that is as wide as it is tall made out of soil?
A Cantena-ry.
6. How do botanists and soil scientists listen to satelights?
With Catenas.
7. How did the botanist, after dealing with fertilizer, clean her hands?
She had a manure-cure.
8. The happy botanist was looking very chipper.
9. Ah go fly a chitin.
10. Wacky definitions: bostryx
A city North of New yorkx.