Senator Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Senator John Kerry, recovering from prostate surgery, was told it would be six weeks before he could be sexually active.
    John Edwards called to wish Kerry well.
    Al Sharpton called Kerry to offer prayers.
    Howard Dean called with encouragement on recovery.
    Bill Clinton called Teresa.

    1. Why are mosses so grouchy when they all lie on the same plane?
    I guess they just like to Complanate.
    2. How do botanists send mail?
    Through the compost office.
    3. Why did the plant eat meat?
    It was coniferous.
    4. How do relatives of weasels pollinate a plant?
    They make it Ferretile.
    5. The botanist was eaten by a cul-lion.
    6. What do botanists run up to get excercise?
    7. Which botanist is a Senator?
    Senator Hilum Clinton.
    8. Is a botanist from down South a Hilum Billy??
    9. What part of a flower is in a car?
    A Calyx converter.
    10. What does a botanist studying jagged margins shoot from her bow?

    "Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible. You know, the one with only seven commandments."
    - David Letterman

    Teddy the red-nosed senator
    Had a very shiny car
    And if you ever saw it
    You were probably at a bar.
    All of the other senators
    Wondered how he got his dames
    They thought he drank too many
    To play in any bedroom games.
    Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
    Santa came to say:
    "Teddy with your nose so red,
    Won't you help me guide my sled?"
    That's how the police found them
    Wrapped around a maple tree
    Teddy the red-nosed senator
    He's a drunken S. O. B.

    Bad Jokes The following riddles and jokes were made up by BADJOKE.EXE, an MS-DOSprogram. You probably haven't heard most of them. Please try not to laughtoo hard and feel free to flame as much as you like-we are all likepassengers on the deck of the Titanic discussing what we're going to do whenwe get to shore.How can you tell when a mechanic has been behind your nuclear warhead? There are nubile lambchops all over your pizza! How can you tell when a pope has been coming towards your spaceship? There are laughing travelling salesmen in your banana! How do you get 100 gargoyles into a nuclear warhead? Throw in a lawn sprinkler! Why do motorcycles fold born-again eyeballs? To diaper their skyscrapers! Why do policemen have toilets? So that yaks will disobey them! What do you get when you cross a Barbie doll and a banana? An angry nurse! What did the Democrat say to the kettle drum?"Ignore my eyeball, you square baby!"What did the finger say ot the lawn sprinkler?"Enlist more...

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