Botanists Jokes

1. Why are mosses so grouchy when they all lie on the same plane?
I guess they just like to Complanate.
2. How do botanists send mail?
Through the compost office.
3. Why did the plant eat meat?
It was coniferous.
4. How do relatives of weasels pollinate a plant?
They make it Ferretile.
5. The botanist was eaten by a cul-lion.
6. What do botanists run up to get excercise?
Hilum.
7. Which botanist is a Senator?
Senator Hilum Clinton.
8. Is a botanist from down South a Hilum Billy??
9. What part of a flower is in a car?
A Calyx converter.
10. What does a botanist studying jagged margins shoot from her bow?
Erose.

1. What gaming system do botanists play on?
An Attar-ii.
2. What class did the tool for drilling holes have to take?
Auger management
3. Which growth promoting substance can also draw a plow?
Auxin.
4. Why are places capable of consuming cars?
They are Auto-trophic
5. Which sharp apendage will botanists play chess with?
A P-AWN.
6. What measure of a plants resilience also predicts their evolution?
The Hardy Wineburg equilibrium laws.
7. How do botanists catch bartenders?
With Barbates.
8. What is a marsh botanist's favoirte movie?
Bog to the Future.
9. Neither a lender nor a Bougher be.
10. What does an arborist eat soup in?
A Bole.

1. What do botanists give electronically to show their love?
E-roses.
2. What do botanists wear on Mars?
A Spathe suit.
3. What does a successively layered animal need to breathe?
Exogen.
4. What is it called when you blackmail a flower?
Extrorsion.
5. Why are plant growths so upseting?
They have gall.
6. What is a service offered by the phone company to botanists?
Gall waiting.
7. How are seeds like bacteria?
They are both germs.
8. He so gibbous, and he so takeous.
9. How was the botanist able to recognize the nut?
At a glans.
10. Is a botanist a grafter??

1. How does a botanist clean his/her self?
With a brush.
2. Why was the botanist so wise?
He was very sage.
3. Which police show do agriculturists watch?
CROPS.
4. Do Botanists support stem cell research??
5. Do botanists have all the anthers??
6. The plant had his car stolon.
7. What was the greenhorn botanist sent on?
A stipe hunt.
8. How was the botanist paid?
With a stipe-nd.
9. What does a botanist call beurocratic red tape?
STIPULE-ations.
10. Who is a plants favorite action movie star?
Silvester Stolon.

A logger is driving down the highway and sees two botanists trying to measure the height of a small pine tree. Their tape measure is not long enough so one botanist stands on the shoulders of the other and attempts to extend the tape to the tree top but it is not long enough. While trying, he falls to the ground. They attempt this about five times and each time the top botanist falls. The logger is laughing but feels sorry for the pair, gets out of his truck, takes out an electric saw and cuts down the tree. The botanists are looking at him like he is crazy. He then takes a tape measure and measures the tree. "OK guys, the tree is 14' 6." He then gets in his truck and drives away. The two botanists are stunned and speechless. Finally one says to the other, "How do you like that, we are trying to measure the height of the tree and that stupid jerk measures the width."