Book Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women"
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates andannounces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon readingthe entry for the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff andto proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watchingthese proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanningthe preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "ButI am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely Irate higher than a cabbie."
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "this is heaven and, up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.
Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File".
We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.
Management by objectives is no better than the objectives.
"I've given you an unlimited budget, and you have already exceeded it!"
25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O.J. Simpson
24. THE ENGINEER'S GUIDE TO FASHION
23. TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
22. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND DILBERT
21. HUMAN RIGHTS ADVANCES IN CHINA
20. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
19. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
18. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
17. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
16. CAREER OPPORTUNITIES FOR LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS
15. DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
14. DIFFERENT WAYS TO SPELL BOB
13. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
12. EASY UNIX
11. ETHIOPIAN TIPS ON WORLD DOMINANCE AND AGRICULTURE
10. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
9. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
8. FRENCH HOSPITALITY
7. GEORGE FOREMAN'S BIG BOOK OF BABY NAMES
6. HOW TO SUSTAIN A MUSICAL CAREER - by Art Garfunkel
5. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA
3. more...
The World's 25 Shortest Books:
25.' Things I Wouldn't Do for Money' by Dennis Rodman
24.' The Difference Between Reality and Dilbert'
23.' The Book of Virtue' by Bill Clinton
22.' To All the Men I've Loved Before' by Ellen
21.' Strom Thurmond: Intelligent Quotes'
20.' Human Rights Advances in China'
19.' My Plan to Find the Real Killers' by O.J. Simpson
18.' Al Gore: The Wild Years'
17.' Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean'
16.' America's Most Popular Lawyers'
15.' Career Opportunities for Art History Majors'
14.' Detroit - A Travel Guide'
13.' Beauty Tips' by Roseanne
12.' Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches'
(subtitled' The Power of Positive Thinking')
11.' UNIX Made Easy'
10.' Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance and Fine Dining'
9.' Everything Men Know About Women'
8.' Everything Women Know About Men'
7.' French Hospitality'
6.' George Foreman's Big more...
This article is from the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994: Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Llines, and No Qquestion Seems To Be Too Basic
AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the woman what happened when she pushed the power button.
"I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the woman said, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "foot pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device that helps to control the computer's operation.
Personal-computer makers are discovering that it's still a low-tech world out there. While they are finally having great success selling PCs to households, they now have to deal more...
O.J. Simpson has written a new book about the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman called, "If I Did It."
His next goal is to write sequels entitled, "If Basketball Players Are Tall" and, "If Water is Wet."