Book Jokes / Recent Jokes

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. Mom said, "'Sure, sweetie. I'll send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uh, oh yeah, OK," responded the kid. So Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?" Mom said, "Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20, and the other for $1000'" "That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you crazy???" "Don't worry hon," Mom said, as she kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in Chapter 19!"

Children's worst book titles! You Were an Accident Strangers Have the Best Candy The Little Sissy Who Snitched Some Kittens Can Fly! Getting More Chocolate on Your Face Where Would You Like to Be Buried? Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Animals of North America-Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes! All Dogs Go to Hell The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer, They Say God Did It Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog? Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? Bi-Curious George Daddy Drinks Because You Cry You Are Different and That's Bad Dad's New Wife Gerald Pop! Goes The Hamster-And Other Great Microwave Games Testing Homemade Parachutes With Your Household Pets The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad Babar Meets the Taxidermist Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables Start a Real-Estate more...

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."
4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

10. You can usually find someone to do it with. 9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off. 8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame. 7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it. 6. A little coffee and you can do it all night. 5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser." 4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time. 3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle. 2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it. 1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.
Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.
Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had could write."

According to a new book on the 2008 presidential campaign, Sarah Palin did not know why North and South Korea were separate. She also said she didn't know why there's an East and West Virginia.

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.8. You can finish early with-out feelings of guilt or shame.7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."4. You can do it, eat and watch TV all at the same time.3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help!