Boat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three whales were swimming in the ocean,- mummy whale and two baby whales when along came a harpooning ship and harpooned mummy whale. Baby whales were quite upset and so they discussed a plan of action.
"Right" said baby whale 1, "Let's go under the harpooning ship and blow water out our spouts and tip the boat over!!!"
"Alright" said baby whale 2, so they did and all the sailors were tossed out of the boat and were left swimming around.
Baby whale 1 said to baby whale 2 "Let's eat some of these bastards", but baby whale 2 said "No! I'll do a blowjob but I'm not swallowing any seamen"

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
You can identify an Ohio accent.
Owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown.
You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
The Big Mac is something that you drive across.
You believe that "down south" means Toledo.
You bake with soda and drink pop.
You drive 86 on the highway and you pass on the right.
Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.
You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.
You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."
The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance.
You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
You expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale.
You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell.
Your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, more...

two blondes went out in there new convertable,
and on the way to the mall they saw another blonde. But the other blonde was in a row boat,
and she was rowing it in a field.the one blonde said to the other she gives blondes a bad name.And the blonde says yeah we should tell how we feel.So the other blonde in the car says yeah but i cant swim.

There was a blonde driving down the road one day on her way to visit some family. She was driving down a country road that came along side a giant wheat field. When she looked over at the wheat field she was shocked to see that there was another blonde out in the wheat field in a row boat. And this woman with oars in hand was vigorously rowing! The blonde woman driving saw this and was pissed! So she stopped her car along side of this wheat field and rolled down her window and yelled out to the blonde in the boat. "You know it's blondes like you who give blondes like me a bad name!" "And if I could swim, I would swim out there and kick your ass!".

Q: What did Michael Jackson yell when he fell off the boat?
A: Throw me the bouy!!

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!" Blonde
Blonde in a car "There was a blonde driving in a car and suddenly a tree popped up in front of her, so she swerved then another tree popped up infront of her right in the middle of the road so she swerved again and she kept swerving and dodging the trees untill she stopped.
When a cop came and asked her what happened she told him all about the trees and he looked at her and laughed and he said that it was the little tree decoration hanging from the review mirror

What I've learned from Noah's Ark
Don't miss the boat. Remember that we are all in the same boat. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old someone may ask you to do something really big. Don't listen to critics, just get on with the job that needs to be done. Build your future on high ground. For safety's sake travel in pairs. Speed isn't everything. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. When you're stressed, float awhile. Remember the Ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by professionals. If you can't fight or flee - float. Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth. When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain - grab a shovel. Stay below deck during the storm. If you have to start over, have a friend by your side. Remember that the wood peckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm out side. No matter the storm, when you are with God there's always a rainbow waiting