Blunt Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    theres this first grade teacher that is teaching her students how to read. she bakes cookies for the class.
    when the kids come in from recess they all sit in their seats.
    the teacher asked, "does anyone want to tell me what you did at recess today?"
    sally raises her hand and says, "I played in the sand box."
    "Okay," said the teacher, "If you can spell sand on the board I will give you a cookie." she does it.
    Ben raises his hand and says " I played in the sand box too!"
    "Okay if you can spell box on the board I will give yu aa cookie." So he does it.
    Mae-he Mahamid riases his hand and says (with an accent) "I wanted to play in da sand box, but ben and sally wouldnt let me."
    "That is blunt racial descrimination," said the teacher, "if you can spell blunt racial descrimination on the board i will give you a cookie."

    Welcome to EBONICS 101Herein follow a few terms to help you get started on your merry way towards the ve-nak-u-lar..."Damn- that shit is DOPE!"That is a wonderful concept/object/action."Can't FADE that."I am unable to comprehend or assimilate that concept at this time."Shante ain't havin' it."This is not something that Shante will allow to occur."Homey- Boo was dropping PHAT beats."Our friend Boo was playing some wonderful music."YO!- Let me GAFFLE that BLUNT!"Might I be able to indulge in your marijuana cigarette?"JIMMY was on and I was HITTIN' it!"I had in my possession a condom, which was used in my engagement of sexual activity."What's up? Why you ALL UP in my shit!?!"Please sir/madam- stay out of my affairs."She is HELLA' CLOWIN' you HOMEY!"The woman is creatively informing you that her interest in dating you is non-existent at this time."Woooooo- Renaldo was PITCHIN' STRAIGHT GAME to baby-doll, more...

    A man walks into a bar and finds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the bartender what it's for. The bartender replies, "Every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar."The man asks, "What are the tasks?""First, you have to go over to Jimmy the bouncer and knock him out with one hit. Then, well, there's a pitbull out back and you have to pull its blunt tooth out. Finally, the bosses wife is up stairs and you have to go pleasure her, but you have to put down ten dollars to play." said the bartender."Damn." says the man. Later that night, after several drinks, the man smacks down a ten dollar bill and says, "I'm in."He walks over to the bouncer and swings. One hit he's out cold. The man falls flat on his face also, but gets up and walks out back. All you hear is the dog howling. Then the man steps back in, goes over to the bartender and asks, "Now where's that lady with more...

    A few terms to help you get started on your merry way towards the ve-nak-u-lar...
    "Damn- that s**t is DOPE!"
    ~~~ That is a wonderful concept/object/action.
    "I can't FADE that!"
    ~~~ I am unable to hande this at this time.
    "Shante ain't HAVIN' it!"
    ~~~ This is not something that Shante will allow to occur.
    "Homey-Boo was dropping PHAT beats."
    ~~~ Our friend Boo was playing some wonderful music.
    "YO!- Let me GAFFLE that BLUNT!"
    ~~~ Might I be able to indulge in your marijuana cigarette?
    "JIMMY was on and I was HITTIN' it!"
    ~~~ I had in my possession a condom, which was used in my engagement of sexual activity.
    "What's up? Why you ALL UP IN my s**t!?!"
    ~~~ Please sir/madam- stay out of my affairs.
    "She is HELLA' CLOWIN' you HOMEY!"
    ~~~ The woman is creatively informing you that her interest in dating you is non-existant at this more...

    Only for the truly demented...

    You Will Need:
    Felt markers or crayons, sticky-tape, construction paper, blunt scissors,
    a parent's permission.

    1) Place your hand flat on a sheet of construction paper.

    2) Cut your hand off with the blunt scissors. The faster you go, the less
    it will hurt!

    3) Cauterize your stump on an electric burner. Ask your parents for help.

    4) Decorate the hand to look like a turkey with the markers, paper and
    sticky-tape. Gobble-gobble!

    5) Hang your turkey on the front door with nails or a staple gun.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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