Big Jokes / Recent Jokes
A big fat housewife is on her hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor, when she suddenly yells to her husband, "Come here quick, Charlie! Im paralyzed! I cant get up!" He comes in, takes a look, and says, "Stand up, you silly old bat. Youre kneeling on one of your tits."
A Vietnamese couple who has been married for twenty years went to the wedding reception of a close comrade's daughter. During the ring exchange ceremony, the husband started to cry profusely.
The wife, surprised by her husband's emotional outburst, said, " I didn't realize that you have so much feeling to share with your comrade's happiness."
The husband replied, "No, you are wrong! That was not why I cried."
He continued, "Twenty years ago, your father caught us doing it, and threatened that if I don't marry you, your VC father will put me behind bars for twenty years. Weeping even louder, the husband said, "If I had just gone to jail, I would've been a free man by now. I made a big mistake. "
Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts. Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar.
Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!
Yo mama nose so big that her neck broke from the weight!
Once upon a time, there lived two brothers - elder one named "Da Niu" (Big Cow), younger one called "Xiao Niu" (Little Cow). They were both English educated. Da Niu could not understand Chinese at all while Xiao Niu managed to write some simple sentences. There lived one lady - a very very pretty and sexy Chinese lady opposite their flat. Both brothers were hungry to "eat" this lady, but they kept their desire to themselves. Finally, Da Niu disclosed to Xiao Niu his lustful desire for this lady and requested Xiao Niu to write this lady a loveletter on behalf of himself. Definitely, Xiao Niu was upset and tried to sabotage his brother. So Xiao Niu wrote a note and flew it over to the lady: "Da Niu Bi Jiao Lan" (Da Niu is lazier). To Xiao Niu surprise, this did not make the lady disappointed about Da Niu but instead she so delighted when she saw this note and immediately hooked herself to Da Niu. Guess why? The lady has read sentences from right more...
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10, 000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A. M. Signed, The Blonde.
She pinned the note inside the little boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10, 000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note, “Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another! ”
tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...
"Hello, I'm Mike Walrus, and this is 60 Seconds"
"We're here in Hong Kong to bring you a story that may shock and horrify some viewers. This city is a beehive of industry and activity, a monument to free enterprise and commerce, but behind these shops and warehouses, hidden from public view, is the sordid story of a condiment gone terribly wrong.
"I'm talking about duck sauce. You've probably seen or tried it before, those little orange packets tossed in with your Chinese take-out meals. But look closely at them...those little floating bits aren't apricot...they're real duck.
"Yes, it's a tragic tale of waterfowl laid waste, an underground industry that reaps millions of export dollars and is depleting the duck population all around the South China Sea.
"We tracked several shipments of duck sauce to a clandestine factory here, operating under the name more...