Beatles Jokes / Recent Jokes

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are splitting up. Sources say McCartney will walk away with most of his fortune, while Mills will hop away with an autographed copy of Wings' greatest hits and a Yoko Ono dartboard.

That's nothing-- thirty years after his death, Larry King is still hosting his own show..

THEME SONGS FOR THE VIAGRA COMMERCIALS
- Written by Eric Targan,
While Pfizer has had a lot of great press reagarding the launch of Viagra, the new male impotency medication, its marketing department has been working vigorously to develop its advertising campaign to augment its sales once all of the PR has died down.
While going through potential commercials, they realized that such an important medication needed a theme song to help its long term identity.
Here are a few of the top suggestions that came up in the meeting.
(Special Thanks to Regina for her help)
I am a Rock
- Paul Simon
Suddenly
- B. Ocean
A Hard Days Night
- The Beatles
Please Mr. Postman
Can't Buy Me Love (Now you can)
- The Beatles
Do That To Me One More Time
- Captain and Tenille
Everlasting Love
- The Bee Gees
Take Me Out To The Ballgame
Let Your Love Flow
- L. E. Williams
A Had Days Night
- The Beatles
Longer
- more...

Britney Spears prevented the loss of any wealth to ex Kevin Federline by having him sign a prenuptual agreement. I never thought I would write this: Britney Spears is more intelligent than Paul McCartney.

A lot of people call Charles Manson crazy for blaming his murder spree on the Beatles' song "Helter Skelter," but the other day I listened to "Octopus' Garden" and I became compelled to drown a littler of kittens.

15 iBank app tracks how many organs you'll need to sell to pay off the cost of it.

14 Keeps popping up messages give you the address of someone named Sara Conner.

13 Reassurance Generator application continually reminds you that you are indeed smarter *and* cooler than a Windows user.

12 Continuous GPS monitoring of Paris Hilton.

11 When the new iPhone model comes out in four months, you can put this one under the short leg of a table to make it perfectly level.

10 Renders certain other hand-held devices inoperable with "Blackberry Jam" feature.

9 Flipped upside down, it doubles as a Fleshlight.

8 Plus: Beatles ringtones put money in Paul McCartney's pocket.
Minus: Beatles ringtones put money in Yoko Ono's pocket.

7 Tghe toiuchsxcreenb keytpadf isd reaslklyt accuyraterf abnd eadsy toi usre.

6 Comes pre-loaded with naked pictures of Peter Jackson, Kevin Smith and the cast more...

I'm so excited for The Beatles: Rock Band to come out for XBox. I'm already calling 3 of my best friends, and an Asian girl I don't like.