Backs Jokes / Recent Jokes

10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike.
Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now.
He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks, 'cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man."
Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room.
Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and more...

Q: What is the difference between the panama canal and a blond?
A: One is a busy ditch and the other is a dizy bitch.
Q: How are bob barker and lorena bobbit different?
A: One is a slick pricer and the other is a prick slicer
Q: How is a blond like a screen door?
A: The harder you slamm them the looser they become
Q: How do elephants hide in the jungle?
A: Paint there balls green and lay on their backs in a watermelon patch
Q: How did tarzan die?
A: Thumping watermelons
Q: How are a turtle and a blond similar?
A: Put them on their backs and they are phucked
Q: Why did the blond have a big belly button?
A: Her boyfriend was blond too!

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."
The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming."
"Yes I do!"
"Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?"
"Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down."
"Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? What do you do then?"
"Well, then I takes that whip they all carry, and I whip him and whip him until he backs down."
"Well, what if that lion bites that whip with his big teeth, and bites it in two? What you gonna do then?"
"Well, then I take that gun they all carry, and I shoot him."
"Well, what if that gun doesn't work? What will you do more...

A woman works in an office setting. Every morning a man she works with comes in and sticks his nose in her hair, backs away and exclaims, "Boy, your hair smells GREAT!"
This became a regular occurrence, and began to annoy the woman. Day after day this went on. Finally she decided to report him to the Director of Human resources. She said to him, "I would like to file a sexual harassment charge!"
"What do you base this on?" replied the HR Manager.
"Well, you see, every morning a man I work with comes in and sticks his nose in my hair, backs away and exclaims' Boy, your hair smells GREAT!'"
"I'm afraid that this doesn't sound like much of a case," said the HR.
"Well, would it bolster my case if you knew the guy was a midget?" retorted the woman.

One day, a young camel decided to ask his father some questions about growing up.' Daddy, why is it that we have humps on our backs?'' Well son, we have humps on our backs which contain fat to sustain us through many days when we are out in the desert.'

' Oh thanks, Dad!' says the youngster. He then asks,' Daddy, why is it that we have long eye lashes over our eyes?'' Well son,' says the father,' in the desert, there are many sandstorms which whip up a lot of sand which can get into our eyes. The long eye lashes protect our eyes from being blinded.'

' Oh thanks, Dad!' says the youngster.' Dad, why is it that we have great big padded feet?'' Well son, in the desert, the sand is very soft and we need big feet to be able to walk on the sand without our feet sinking into the soft sand.'

' Well thanks, Dad, but what the heck are we doing in London Zoo?'