Rushes Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.' What's up?' he says.

    'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman.

    He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,' Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!' The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door.

    Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.' You jerk,' yells the husband,' my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!'

    10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike.
    Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now.
    He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks, 'cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man."
    Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room.
    Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and more...

    A lady rushes into the veterinarian and screams, "I found my dog unconscious and I can't wake him -- do something."

    The vet lays the dog on the examination table and after a few simple tests he says, "I'm sorry, I don't feel a pulse, I'm afraid your dog is dead".

    The lady can't accept this and says, "No, no, he can't be dead -- do something else."

    The vet goes into the other room, and comes back with a little cat. The cat jumps up on the table and starts sniffing the dog from head to toe. It sniffs and sniffs up and down the dog, then all of a sudden just stops and jumps off the table and leaves. "Well, that confirms it," the vet says, "your dog is dead."

    The lady is very upset but finally settles down. "Okay, I guess you're right. How much do I owe you?" The vet says, "That will be $340."

    The lady has a fit and asks, "Why is it so much? After all the vet more...

    Blonde Girl's Blonde Husband
    A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises
    coming from
    the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the
    bed, sweating
    and panting. "What's going on here?' he says. "I'm having a
    heart attack,"
    cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but
    just as he's
    dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy!,
    Uncle Ted's
    hiding in your wardrobe closet and he's got no clothes on!"
    The guy slams
    the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his
    screaming wife,
    and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his
    brother, totally
    naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor. "You IDIOT!!!," says the
    husband, "my
    wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked
    and scaring the
    kids."

    10 year old Johnny's mother, who was a hard working single mom, had been promising for some time now to buy poor Johnny a bike.Johnny, who loved his Momma dearly, hadn't made a big deal about it for a long time, but suddenly decided NOW was the right time to ask. So he rushes downstairs to tell his Momma that he wanted his bike and he wanted it now.He gets downstairs, looks around, doesn't see his mother, so he rushes back upstairs, opens the door to his mother's room and stops dead in his tracks, 'cause there was his Momma, laying stark naked on her bed, rubbing herself all over repeating " Oh, I need a man, Ohhh I need a man."Johnny, who was naturally a little stunned by the sight, backs quietly out the door and goes back to his room.Well, a few days passes and Johnny works up the nerve to once again tell his Mother that he wants his bike and he wants it NOW. So he rushes downstairs, doesn't see his mother, he rushes upstairs, opens Momma's door and there once again was more...

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