Aunt Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time, there was a blonde who had six young boys, all of whom she named' Jimmy'. One day, her aunt asked, Why did you name all of these boys' Jimmy'? The blonde said, so I can keep track of' em. The aunt gave her a wild look. So you can keep track of' em? How the heck can you do that when they're all named' Jimmy'? The blonde looked at her aunt, shrugged and said, "No problem, I just call them by their last names!"

Crazy Aunt Maud received a letter one morning, and upon reading it burst into floods of tears. "Whats the matter?" asked her companion. "Oh dear," sobbed Auntie, "Its my favorite nephew. Hes got three feet." "Three feet?" exclaimed her friend. "Surely thats not possible?" "Well," said Auntie, "his mothers just written to tell me hes grown another foot! "

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.

Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. “I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts! ”

“That’s okay, dearie, ” the aunt replied. “After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway. ”

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office."It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor.""You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it.
You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"

Dear Son,
I am writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happened within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address cause the last family that lived here took
the numbers with them for their next house so they won't have to change their address. Wish I had thought of that.
This place has a small washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
It only rained twice this week - three days the first time and four days the second.
The coat you wanted me to send you; your aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Don't tell anyone.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill; up she comes. Lucky we have a spare bedroom in the new place. We more...

Dearest Koos
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your pa read in the newspaper that almost all accidents happen within 20 km of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your oom Frikkie said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in their pockets.
Pietie locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Aunt Lou!
Aunt Lou who?
Aunt Misbehavin? Knock Knock
Who's there!
Aunt Lou!
Aunt Lou who?
Aunt Lou tired of knocking on this door? Knock Knock
Who's there!
Aunt Lou!
Aunt Lou who?
Aunt Lou do you think you are!