Aunt Jokes / Recent Jokes

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother.............................. Please Gogh His dizzy aunt..................................... Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes.......................... Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle.............................. Cant Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store....... Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia..................... U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white.......... Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois............................ Chica Gogh His magician uncle.................................. Wherediddy Gogh His Italian uncle....................................... Day Gogh His Mexican cousin.................................. Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother.......... Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach................. Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing more...

Dear Son:
I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when' you left. Your dad read in the paper where the most accidents happen within twenty mile of home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Kentuckian family that lived here took the number with them so the wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day 1 put four shirts in it, pulled the chain, and haven't seen'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time. and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue said It would be a little to heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons on, so we cut`em off and put`em in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandmas funeral bill, up she comes. Your father, he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He's cutting grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a more...

Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a more...

Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse. Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!"

the other day i gotta haircut an i go into work the next day and my co workers go, u getta haircut? i sed no fall and im sheding, heres ur sign!
A couple months ago, I was eating at an Italian restaurant with my family, we all started eating and my cousin looks at me n sez wut u got looks good is it good, i sed nop eit taste like shit im just tryin not to notice, heres ur sign!
My family and i were sitting at my house having a good time, when my aunt announced that she was getting married to her boyfriend of 3 years and my mom asks if the guy is a good guy, with a smile my aunt sez nope, he's a wife beating alcholic crack hed and I'm marrying him for his baody. Here's your sign.
i was workin late one nite and the boss comes over tome n sez ey u still here, and i sed nope i left an hour ago im havin a outta body experince, heres ur sign!
i was watchin one of them animal shows on tv the other day and a buddy of mine was with me and were watchin it and theres this huge more...

'Twas the fight before Christmas
when all through the house
the tension was rising
'tween in-laws and spouse.
Expecting the onslaught, she'd shopped, wrapped, and baked,
Mom verged on exhaustion, her back cramped and ached.
"This year will be perfect!" determined she vowed
Then she lined up her brood, and she ordered aloud,
"Now, listen up, kids! Clean your ears, so you'll hear it!
You'll stop all your whining and get into the spirit!"
Their kinfolk were traveling from locales afar,
to watch little Jen as she held up the Star,
Jeremiah as drummer, and Jimmy as goat,
and the rest of the rugrats playing Heavenly Host.
The pastor who cast them, though' twas said he was braver
didn't trust Baby Paul to portray the sweet Savior.
Now the eve of the holiday pageant had come.
The mock angels fluttered, the wee drummer drummed,
and drummed and he drummed until Mom thought she'd more...

After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:
His obnoxious brother...................Please Gogh
His dizzy aunt...................................Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes..........Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store.....Stopn Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia........U Gogh
The brother who bleached his clothes white........Hue Gogh
The cousin from Illinois.................Chica Gogh
His magician uncle................Wherediddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin...............Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half brother.....Grin Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach......Wellsfar Gogh
The constipated uncle.................Cant Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt.........Tan Gogh
The bird lover uncle.................Flamin Gogh
His nephew psychoanalyst.........E Gogh
The fruit loving more...