Attracted Jokes / Recent Jokes

10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in 'Deliverance.'
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. Translation: I don't want to do my dad.
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. Translation: You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.
7. My life is too complicated right now. Translation: I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.
6. I've got a boyfriend. Translation: I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.
5. I don't date men where I work. Translation: I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building.
4. It's not you, it's me. Translation: It's you.
3. I'm concentrating on my career. Translation: Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.
2. I'm celibate. Translation: I've sworn off only the men like you.
1. Let's be friends. more...

10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in' Deliverance.')

9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my dad.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in' that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend. (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)

5. I don't date men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same' solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and un-fulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell more...

One night, while tending bar, the bartender notices this hideous looking fella at the far end of the bar with several hot women around him. Finally, the bartender’s curiosity gets the best of him, and he walks down to where the ugly man is. The bartender says, “Please don’t get offended when I tell you this, but I couldn’t help noticing you have several beautiful women hanging all over you, and, forgive me, but you are not exactly the most handsome person I’ve ever seen. In fact, you’re quite ugly. Now, normally, I would think these ladies are attracted to you because of your money, but I can tell by the way you’re dressed and the fact that they are buying YOU drinks, it’s not the money. Tell me, sir, what is it about you that these women are so crazy about? ” The man paused a moment, licked his eyebrows, and said, “I haven’t the foggiest idea. ” One night, while tending bar, the bartender notices this hideous looking fella at the far end of the bar with more...

Top 10 reasons that are used to turn down the opposite sex
The Females Say...
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that in-bred, banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're an old fucker.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest fucker I've ever laid my eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend
(who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's)
5. I don't date men where I work.
(Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's not me, it's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm more...