Asking Jokes / Recent Jokes

dum guy calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the dum guy and hangs up.
>Once a dum guy was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the dum guy deserved more service. So, when the dum guy fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the dum guy was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
>john is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at john then goes through more...

Signs She's Getting Bored Having Sex With You

When you request sex, she replies, "Wait' til the Nyquil kicks in."

Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass.

Actually answers when you ask, "Who's your daddy?"

Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire.

Only moans during commercial breaks.

Starts her fake orgasms during foreplay.

Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.

Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.

You find yourself sitting backstage at the Jerry Springer show.

You begin to suspect she is only "playing" dead.

Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a WAV file.

Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.

Keeps asking, "Are you SURE you're not gay?"

Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry more...

USAir recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the East coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.

The farmer simply replied, "They're all lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.

"Well" said the man, " She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice, but pigeon-toed."

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so more...

The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it effectively when communicating their intentions. Just compare these few common phrases that S'poreans and Britons use to say the same thing: When all has been sold out...
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
S'poreans: No Stock! Returning a Call...
Britons: Hello, this is John Travolta. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
S'poreans: Hello, who page? or Siang Ka Pager? When someone is in the way...
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: Lai, siam! or Siam ji bi! or S'kius!(excuse) When someone offers to pay...
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans: No need. When asking for permission...
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this more...

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman.

After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the East coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them. The farmer replied, "They're all looking to get married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion. "Well" said the man, " She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice..but pigeon-toed,"

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls, so the man went out with the more...

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is - so he does not tell them.
His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner?" "You'll
see", says his dad. They start eating dinner and his daughter
keeps asking what they're eating.
"Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint: Its what your mother
sometimes calls me."
The girl suddenly screams at her little brother,
"Spit it out! It's ass-hole!"