Aretha Jokes / Recent Jokes

If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she'd be Whoopi Cushing.
If Swoosie Kurtz married Patrick Swayze, she'd be Swoosie Swayze.
If Flip Wilson married Les Aucoin, he'd be Flip Aucoin.
If Barbara Hershey married John Candy, divorced him to marry Roseanne Barr, she'd be Barbara Hershey Candy Barr.
If Julie Emry married Jeff Gillooly, divorced him to marry Darlene Hooley, then divorced her to marry Wes Cooley, she'd be Julie Gillooly Hooley Cooley.
If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, divorced him to marry Jack Nicklaus, then divorced him to marry John Darling, she'd be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus Darling.
If Julie London married Beau Bridges, divorced him and married composer Manuel de Falla, then married Hugh Downs, she'd be Julie more...

Knock Knock Who's there! Aretha! Aretha who? Aretha flowers!

Knock KnockWhos there! Aretha! Aretha who? Aretha flowers!

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Aretha!
Aretha who?
Aretha flowers!

Aretha Franklin is upset with Beyonce for calling Tina Turner the queen. Shame on you Beyonce we all know that Aretha Franklin is the queen--the Dairy Queen! The Burger Queen!

"What you want? You know I got it! All I'm asking is for a little:

Chicken
Hamburger with cheese
Roast
Duck
Steak
Mustard Greens
Hamhocks (oops, I got my own)
Grits and eggs
Pecan pie
Sweet potatoe pie

When you come home.