Animal Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear.
One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfest of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit.
"Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!"
"Not now! I'm eating."
"Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important."
"No way."
"Please. It's urgent."
So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when he finally got there he was groaning and panting, and wheezing for air.
"Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?"
"Hey, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the river."
A horse walks into a bar, orders a beer, sits down at one of the tables, and starts reading his paper.
The bartender is a bit shocked by all this, but pours the beer, and brings it over to the horse, who proffers a ten dollar bill for it. Now the barman figures the horse isn't that bright, so he decides to pull the old' short-change' trick on him. He duly goes back to the horse with 1 dollar. The horse doesn't say a word.
The horse eventually finishes his beer and goes up to the bar to order another. Says the bartender to him, "Y'know, we don't get many horses in here."
To which the horse replies, "At nine dollars a beer, I'm not surprised!"
Q. How do astronauts eat their ice creams
A. In floatsQ: How do you make a dinosaur float?
A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur!Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
A: Ice CreamQ: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
A: Pi a'la mode.
Of course, you've heard the definition of an emasculated dinosaur: A colossal fossil with a docile tassel.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have generic names. Tylenol is Acetaminophen; Advil is Ibuprofen, and so on.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name to call Viagra, and today announced they have settled on Mydixarisin. Also considered were: Mydixadrupin and Mycoxafailin.
A crate load of Viagra has been stolen from a distribution depot - police are looking for hardened criminals.