Animal Jokes / Recent Jokes
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property. It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia. Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law. In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits. In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts. In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours. In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset. In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday. In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed. In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman. French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring more...
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick told the farmer "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." Muldoon said "I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick replied "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man says, "I`ll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure…go ahead."
Man asks the dog, "What covers a house?" Dog says, "Roof!"
Man asks the dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" Dog says, "Rough!"
Man asks the dog, "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" Dog says, "Ruth!"
Man says to the bartender, "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
Bartender throws both of them out the door.
Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the man and says, "Should I have said Gehrig, then?"
Due to an increase in Hezbollah bombings, handlers begin evacuating animals from an Israeli zoo.
Perhaps you've heard of the impecunious snake who was so poor he didn't have a pit to hiss in.
Q.) How many cochroaches does it take to turn on a light?
A.) No one knows…when the light comes on they all scatter!
Did you hear about the baby mouse that saw a bat?
He ran home and told his mother he`d seen and angel¦