Ambulance Jokes / Recent Jokes
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face lift, liposuction and tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look even nicer.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that ambulance?"
God replied, "Girl, I didn't recognize you."
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was
taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she
had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "
Is my time up?"
God said, "
No, you have another 43 years, two
months and eight days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to
stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and tummy
tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as
well look even nicer. After her last operation, she was released from the
hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an
ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "
I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that
ambulance?"
God replied, "
Girl, I didn't recognize you."
So you think you're having a bad day? The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the more...
A stoner is walking down a street one night after he just got done blazing up a spliff. As he's walking, he spots this old guy in a ditch who looks like he got the crap kicked out of him. All bloody and mangled, the dude calls the stoner over to him and says, "Call me an ambulance." The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says "Okay dude, you're an ambulance."
One sunny day, Shit, Manners and fuck off were taking a ride into town. but all of a sudden, shit got knocked over and fuck off went to call an ambulance.
He rung 911 and said: "Ambulance please!"
"what is your name?"
"fuck off"
"no honestly !"
"F U C K O F F!"
"come on now, no jokes!"
" FUCK OFF!!! "
" come on laddie, where is your manners!"
" ermmmmmm... he is half way down the street picking shit up"
Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.
Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!