Afterwards Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man on a business trip in Mexico decides to take in a bull fight. After the event, he stops in to the little dive next to the venue called "The Matador".
As he checks out the menu trying to decide what he wants he sees a waiter bring a dish to another customer.
The dish is spaghetti with these two huge meat balls. When the waiter comes to his table, he inquires. "That is the Matador Special" replies the waiter. "Spaghetti and Bull testicles. We get them after the bull fight. It is exquisite!"
"That's what I'll have!", says the businessman.
"I'm very sorry senor, but that dish is only available once per day".
Disappointed, the man orders another dish and plans to try again the next day.
So again, the next day he goes to the bull fights, and afterwards stops into the dive. Just as the waiter is coming to his table, he sees another waiter bringing the "Matador Special" to another customer who was more...

A pert and attractive nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you have to help me," she said. Every time I date one of the young physicians here, I end up going to bed with him. Afterwards, I feel guilty and depressed for days."
"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And, I supposed you want me to strengthen your willpower and resolve this matter."
"Heavens, NO!" she exclaimed. "I want you to fix it so I don't feel guilty and depressed afterwards."

This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at
the UPSC(IAS)Examinations. candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow
You will forget your English by the time you finish
reading this.
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the
milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such
attachment ]
What can it do? Various butter, cream, curd, why
and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.
His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species.Also his other motion.. [from the backyard] is much
useful to trees, plants as well as for making more...

This is a good one...: )
-Mott

CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at
the
recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the
Indian
cow:

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is
female, he give milk, but will do so when he is got child. He is same
like
God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs
together.
Two are forward and two are afterwards.
"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it
do?
Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so
forth.
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.
"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also
his
other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat
cakes in
hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only more...

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place' the prison' and call my private thing' the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born more...