African Jokes / Recent Jokes

A South African, an Australian and an Englishman are all drinking in a bar. Suddenly, the South African downs the remainder of his drink, tosses his glass in the air, draws his pistol and shoots the glass.
"In South Africa our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same ones twice," he says proudly.
The Australian, who is obviously impressed by this, downs his drink, tosses his glass, draws his gun and shoots the glass.
"In Australia we've got so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink from the same ones twice," he says.
The Englishman pauses to give this some thought, then downs his drink, casually tosses his glass into the air, draws his gun, and shoots the South African and the Australian.
"In England we have so many South Africans and Australians that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice," he says.

The new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out.

"The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."

The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game."

The diplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play. I'II show you how."

He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later six magnificently built, nude women were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to give you oral sex," he told the American.

"That's great," the ambassador said. "That doesn't seem much like Russian roulette."

"Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal."

A Mexican, an Asian, an African, and an American all somehow come across a genie at the same time. They rub the lamp and the genie pops out and agrees to grant them all one wish each. The genie turns to the Mexican and asks what he wished for.
"I wish that myself and all of my people could return to Mexico and live without poverty and wars."
With that, the Mexican disappeared. The genie then turns to the Asian and asks what he wished for.
"I wish that myself and all my people could go return to our countries in Asia and live in peace and happiness."
And the Asian disappears. The genie next asked the African what he would like.
"I wish that myself and all of my African Brothers and Sisters could return to our homelands in Africa and live in wealth and be bothered no more by the rest of the world."
With that, the African disappears. The genie turns to the American and asks what he wishes for.
"Before I make my wish, am I to more...

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that allowed them to claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf became a well traveled trail through the jungle.
All day, every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory.
The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and very publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory.
While he was leading a safari through the jungle, the travelers had to walk and cut vines with their machetes, and all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night.
After setting up more...

An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. “Aaah! ” he said. “We’re right over my homeland. ”
“How can you tell? ” asked the American.
“I can feel the cold air. ” he replied.
A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds. “Aah we’re right over my homeland. ” he said.
“How do you know that? ” asked the Russian. “I can feel the heat of the desert. ”
Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. “Aah, we’re right over New York. ”
The Russian and the African were amazed. “How do you know all of that? ” they exclaimed.
The American pulled his hand up. “My watch is missing. ”

Q: What's the difference between an african lion and OJ Simpson?
A: An african lion is an african lion, OJ Simpson is a lyin african!

Q: What's the difference between an african lion and OJ Simpson? A: An african lion is an african lion, OJ Simpson is a lyin african!