African Jokes / Recent Jokes

**** African King ****
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client.
The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her...don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.
So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man,"I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."
The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."
Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in more...

Kanjibhai the jeweller called the police station to report a robbery. "You'll never believe what happened, Officer. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the jewellery and climbed back into the truck.
The doors closed and the truck pulled away."

The Pandu hawaldar said, "Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?"

"What's the difference?" asked Kanjibhai Jaweri.

"Well," said the Hawaldar, "an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears."

"Come to think of it, I couldn't see his ears," said Kanjibhai "He had a stocking over his head."

Madonna Update:

Madonna told an interviewer that, in Chichewa, the language of Malawi, the word “Madonna” means “distinguished white lady.” Which is funny because, in English, Madonna means “pretentious white lady from Detroit who speaks in an inexplicable British accent.”

Madonna was on Oprah to defend her controversial adoption of a young African boy. She’s really getting crucified. Oh yeah, that’s her act.

When they air her concert, NBC will not show Madonna suspended from a giant cross and wearing a crown of thorns so as not to anger Christian groups. She was going to wear a turban with a bomb in it, but for some reason they vetoed that too.

The father of the African boy Madonna hopes to adopt says he's worried she’ll back out of the adoption because activist groups are giving her such a hard time. He now says the adoption will rescue his son from illness and starvation. Maybe Madonna should adopt Nicole more...

The new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They had spent the day discussing the progress the country had made with the Russians before kicking them out.
"They built us a power plant, an airport, and taught us how to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."
The ambassador looked pained and said, "Russian roulette is a dangerous game." "Right, that's why we invented African roulette; would you like to play?"
"I'm not sure, how does it work?" The African clapped his hands and six gorgeous black women, all nude, came wiggling in. "Choose the one you want to give you oral sex."
"That's a lot better and less risky than Russian roulette..."
"Not when one of them is a cannibal."

The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African King who was a very important client. The client, out of the blue, asks her to marry him.
Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
The African man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No problem!! I have. I have."
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in more...

A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from theRussians before the new government kicked them out. "The Russians builtus a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drinkvodka and play Russian roulette."The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game." Thediplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If youwant to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play."I'll show you how."He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later, six magnificently built, nudewomen were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to giveyou oral sex," he told the American."That's great," the ambassador said, "but it doesn't seem much likeRussian roulette.""Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal."

There were three guys stuck on an island, the first guy was a African, the second was a German, and the third one was a redneck.
While swimming at the beach the African found a magical lamp and rubbed it. A jenie came out and told them three that he would grant them all one wish.
The African went first and wished to go back to Africa with his family. Then the German went second and wished to go back to germany with his family. Finally it was the rednecks turn so the jenie asked him, "
What is your wish."
The redneck paused and started looking around and said, "
Now that I'm alone can you bring the other two guys back."