Admiral Jokes / Recent Jokes

An officer in the U.S. Naval reserve was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked: "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you would not have to speak German."The group became silent.

Army, Air Force, and Marine Generals were standing in front of a rappelling tower with a Navy Admiral. The Air Force General says to the others, "My men are the most courageous of the Armed Forces." "Ha!", said Army, "My men are the most courageous and I'll prove it." Army calls a Private over from the tower. He tells the Private, "I want you to jump off that tower- no rope, no parachute." "Yes, Sir!!!", the Private yells and proceeds to climb the tower. The Private walks to the edge, yells "Hoo-ahh!", and jumps off the tower. He is killed instantly upon impact. "That's nothing," the Air Force General said, bored. He calls a Senior Airman over. "Son, I want you to jump off that tower- no rope, no parachute. And I want you to do it with style." "Yes, Sir!!!", the Senior Airman yells. He climbs to the top of the tower, walks to the edge and jumps. He executes a swan dive that would make Greg more...

A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were
discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright,
I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over
here!"
The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"
The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!"
Without hesitating, the private kills the man.
The general says, "See? That man has balls!"
The marine general says, That's nothing. Private, get over here!"
The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?"
The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him and
then kill yourself."
Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows
away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds.
The marine general says, "See? Now that man has balls!"
The admiral says, "That's nothing."
He calls to more...

A boy heard the term “retired admiral. ”
He repeated it elsewhere “retarded admiral. ”

It was the visiting Admiral’s wont to appear on the bridge during the dog watches and order ‘Man overboard’.
A sub-lieutenant thoroughly briefed the bridge staff on what to do in the case of ‘Man overboard’ being exercised.
The next evening the Admiral duly appeared and said, “Good evening, Sub. ” Immediately six short blasts were sounded, the lifeboat alarm pealed, Flag Oscar broke at the yard arm, and two lifeboats floated majestically astern.
When the noise had abated, the Admiral enquired, “What’s the devil happening? ”
A red face Sub was heard to reply timidly, “You did say ‘Man overboard’, didn’t you? ”

Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.
To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing' Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!"
"YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.
The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general.
"Ah, that's nothing," says the Admiral, "Seaman!" A seaman appears, "YES, SIR!!" "Take this weapon," as he offers him an M14, "Scale that flagpole, balance yourself on top, stand at attention, present arms, and sing' Anchors Aweigh.' Salute each of us, and jump off.
"YES SIR!!" replies the seaman. He sprints for more...

A friend of mine is an officer in the naval reserve.
A few weeks ago, He was attending a conference that included admirals in both the US and the French navies.
At a cocktail reception, my friend found himself in a small group that included an admiral from each of the two navies.
The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learned English.
He then asked. "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you having to speak French?"
Without even hesitating, the American admiral replied.
"Maybe it is because we arranged it so that you did not have to learn to speak German."
The group became silent.