Courage Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either throwing up or using the bathroom. After several hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes. He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York City (about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself more...

    An American General, a Russian General and a British General are standing on
    the deck of a ship watching war exercises. (OK, OK, so this is an old one..)
    The topic of discussion turns to human courage, and the Russian General boasts,
    "Russians are the most courageous people on Earth!"
    Upon which the American (naturally) challenges him: "Oh YEAH?"
    The Russian says, "Sure! Here, Yuri! Jump off the deck (into the freezing
    Atlantic) and swim around the ship!"
    Yuri marches off without a word, and does as he is told. The Russian turns
    around and says: "See, there's an example of courage!"
    The American has to top this, so he calls up one of his underlings and gives
    him the order:
    "Jack, Jump off the main mast into the ocean, and swim around the ship
    seven times!"
    Poor Jack goes off without a murmur, and he too does as he is told. The
    American General says: "Now top that for more...

    Three past US Presidents are travelling on the Yellow Brick Road on their way to meet the Wizard. Each of them is missing a little something and hope the Wizard will be able to help them. When they meet the Wizard, he asks each in turn what they need.
    "I could really use some courage," says Jimmy Carter. "That's no problem," says the Wizard and Carter gets his courage.
    Turning to Ronald Reagan, the Wizard asks what he could use. "Oh, if only I had a brain," replies Mr. Reagan and presto, he has his brain.
    The Wizard then looks at Bill Clinton and says, "Tell me, Mr. Clinton, what do you want most?"
    Without hesitation, Clinton replies, "Is Dorothy around?"

    This is the story of two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community
    supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will
    you marry me?" After about six seconds of' careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes, Yes, I will." The meal ended and with a few more
    pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say' yes' or did she say' no'? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not
    even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he
    gained a more...

    Our three past and our current presidents found themselves following the famous Yellow Brick Road, on their way to meet The Wizard. They were all missing just a little something and figured The Wizard could help them.
    They meet The Wizard and he asks each in turn what they need.
    " Well", Jimmy Carter says, " I could use some courage."
    " No problem," says The Wizard, and Carter gets his courage, no questions asked.
    " What about you, Mr. Reagan?", The Wizard asks.
    " If I only had a brain," Mr. Reagan replies, and voila, Mr. Reagan has his brain.
    George Bush is next. "People tell me I could use a heart," he pleads, and The Wizard grants Mr. Bush his wish.
    " Tell me, Mr. Clinton, what do you most want?", asks The Wizard. Mr. Clinton doesn't hesitate.
    "Is Dorothy around?"

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